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Open Poetry #16
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Trying for a Love Poem
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Trying for a Love Poem |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
She smiles sweetly meeting his eyes of blue, good start, don’t you think? He watched her through the window of the door, She had noticed that he was smiling too. what next, share a drink? His eyes sparkled soft with an inner light, As if seen fresh though he been there before, contrast old and new He invited her out into the night. it’s something to do She grabbed a basket from the near cabinet, think she designing? Fresh bread then wine, cheese and a few apples, And out the door brightly smiling she went. don’t think he’s minding They take the path out into the meadow, must be the late spring Holding hands while both holding the handles, rhyme the apple thing Chaperoned by only a faint shadow. Pausing for a kiss under the star’s eyes That hides briefly behind the thin cloud’s veil, They sit on a log with caress and sighs. I better end here, before I can veer anyone care to finish it? or shall we leave it to the imagination? Gloom |
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| © Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I'm just going to let this the way it is and leave it to imagination. This is wonderful Gloom, I enjoyed it so!! *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
Yeah, I like it ending here too, it has a kind of magical, dreamlike feel to it. It could be anyone. Cool poem. Good job. Go ahead, push your luck; find out how much love the world can hold |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Gloom! This is terrific. I love the thoughts between the lines, and how it made me smile...not wanting it to end. BUT! I'm not going to even attempt to take it further...not here, not now, not on the blue pages. I shall let my mind wander  ~Hugs, Nancy~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
and then as if a thought gone by swift, the memories fade away now glade is empty, as am I only the pines sough deep with sigh thinly peeks moon from cloud's veil as yet again, my thoughts took sail... |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* you took me on a dream date. This is so very beautiful. I flowed along with it perfectly. Oh gosh, the vision is so very romantic. Very well done.   Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Gentle Spirit, Glad you enjoyed. Thank you, Apachecat, Glad you liked it, sometime things are best left unsaid, Thank you, Enchantress, If you do finish it,steamy & Hot E-mail me the final result, perhaps I’ll put it on my website. Thank you, Sunshine, You are sooo poetic A mild ending from you? Fading… I might have done similar, or had a bear burst throught The underbrush. Thank you, Startime, Glad you liked, but I imagine it’s not the time of year For this to become a reality, Hope you fine someone to make it real Come the spring. Gloom |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
~~~ As the dark falls, they are veiled by the knowledge that the moon in it's full is looking down upon them, and in the silence another kiss leads them to a fantasy of desires sparking the night... bringing back memories of soft touches, kisses sweetened by the scent of vanilla first times exposed by the edge of a stream the rustling of the shedding of wants the rushing of thoughts rising until the only sounds to be heard are two hearts in sync, resting in each others arms... and the eyes, deepened by the contentment of the moment. ~Wynter... remembering "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. |
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