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Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

0 posted 2001-09-25 08:44 PM

She asked me ..."Can you die from this?"
Then begged me ..."Please, don't dismiss,
for all my life ... I've wished this kiss.
So many nights unslept in sad remiss.
No memories to recall in memoired reminisce,
endless days dawn on doubt this bliss exists.
It seems all my life has been amiss ...
ever lost in an abyss of loneliness."

Before I could answer she turned her head,
"Don't worry," she stuttered--"it's all been said.
The doctors, they know the reasons I've bled.
They know the torrent of tears I've shed.
They try to explain this unending dread ...
try to stop the bleeding with their therapy thread.
I'm the classic case in those big books they've read ...
you see ... I'm living proof of the walking dead."

"Life," she said, "is just an uphill climb ...
I guess I must have missed my prime.
The doctors, they listen if you've got the dime,
all these head games make me wish I was a mime.
Lets see how good they are if they'd have to read my mind."
Then she asked, "So tell me ... why are you doing time?"
"I'm a depressed moth," said I, "sometimes only talking in rhyme."
She suddenly smiled ... "Seems to me there are worse crimes."

The nurse then came and called her name.
She looked at me shruggingly, "It's all just a game ...
don't be silenced by someone else's shame.
Don't carry someone else's blame.
There's just got to be a reason we are the person we became."
In her leaving, she touched my hand as if to tame,
then whispered in my ear, "Be the flame"
(her own advice she couldn't claim)
So touched by her, am I ... I know I'll never be the same.

Janet Marie

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2001-09-25 08:51 PM

WOW!
This is awesome. I love these lines:

"Don't carry someone else's blame.
There's just got to be a reason we are the person we became."
In her leaving, she touched my hand as if to tame,
then whispered in my ear, "Be the flame"

Yes!

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

2 posted 2001-09-25 08:54 PM

Excellent writing, Janet, I love the flow, rhyme and message

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2001-09-25 09:00 PM

Beautifully penned Janet Marie.
This I enjoyed immensely!

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

4 posted 2001-09-25 09:11 PM

Are we ever really the same? Probably not - It's not easy to write so many end rhymes in the same stanza - You've done a wonderful job here, JM... I'm smilin'..

[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 09-25-2001).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2001-09-25 09:14 PM

JM,
Randy read this with me and began to cry.
He whispered low Oh my sweet butterfly.
And I petted him and said she's fine.
Just read the message between the lines.
Your talent is showing again. Love Sy

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2001-09-25 09:27 PM

Janet Marie...My tears fall with randy..this is soooo letting out of you...so uplifting..so I smile....for the last stanza!!!!!!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2001-09-25 09:46 PM

JanetMarie~
In the 'reflections' ...
you show compassionate care for others~

'Don't worry, she stuttered'

*smiles* ... that's Kit's job~
Love you~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

8 posted 2001-09-25 09:46 PM

You just completely blow me away

this is one of your very best, and you know I love them all

"when I catch my breath, it's you I breathe" ~Michelle Branch~

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2001-09-25 10:20 PM

WOW! I ditto Sea and also have to tell you that you carried me along like I was sitting at your feet and you were telling me a story, now that is poetry lady! Ask me how much did I love these lines:

In her leaving, she touched my hand as if to tame,
then whispered in my ear, "Be the flame"

WOW! Now you are some talented lady! This was absolutely awesome, and into the binder it goes.

~Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self~ Cyril Connolly

BSC

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-02-04

Posts 2919
New York, USA

10 posted 2001-09-25 10:26 PM

Oh WOW JM ~ From first to last...simply outstanding. Bonnie

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

11 posted 2001-09-25 11:27 PM

Wow. That's all I can say. This is truly amazing.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

SmittenKitten
Senior Member

since 2001-06-20

Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

12 posted 2001-09-26 12:55 PM

Oh Janet.....this is....wow....If you spoke only in rhyme, I sure wouldn't complain. Your words strike chords in me...I feel them deep within myself and I always feel like something grand has just been placed before me when I finish reading.

Be the flame...

Hugs dear poet,
~Krista

Your beautiful words and creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself.
Thank you for having the courage to share yourself so that I can too

[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 09-26-2001).]

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

13 posted 2001-09-26 06:31 AM

Once again Janet you have penned the words that so effortlessly reach out and touch you deep inside. Take care!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

14 posted 2001-09-26 07:04 AM

What a wonderful moment in time you've captured here Janet Marie. Loved the rhyme and conversational aspects in this piece! My favorite line has to be ...

"There's just got to be a reason we are the person we became."

Oh so true, so true. Wonderful pondering JM ... you've given me much to think about. Thank you gator gal, much enjoyed your sentiments and message!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

15 posted 2001-09-26 08:50 AM

MS ... thank you so much for the "amazing" and for this wonderful exhuberant reply

Melis .. Hi sweetie...thank you for your kind words and compliments

Enchantress ... thank you so much, Im so glad you enjoyed this.

Nan ... and now I AM SMILING...thank you for for the rhyme praise...coming from the teach..it means much, thanks for the wonderful reply

Sy-babes (and Randy) ...and your heart and wise eyes are showing...thank you Stinky for this very sweet poetic reply...and for ALWAYS seeing what lies between the lines...
Love you Sy

Martie ... thank you sweet poetess...(see I have been putting those quotation lessons to use)

thank you for this wonderful reply

Margie ... LOL at your worry joke... and you do know I adore you for worrying right?

big hugs to you dear one

Sea ... thank you for such an enthusiastic reply and the kind compliments girlie girl

Sharon ... thank you to you as well for such high praise and including me in that folder, its an honor I dont take lightly.

Bonnie ... THANK YOU for such a wonderful, exhuberant and enthusiatic reply!!

Tracy...thank you also for the "amazing" such high praise ... I appreciate it so much.

Krista ... what a wonderful thing to say... you humble and compliment me so....thank you very much for letting me know my poetry reaches you in that way.

Eagle ... Hey you

thank you poet sir...I always know Im gonna have a smile when I see your name.

Kit-gator ... and you already know your a smile waiting to happen in my mornings...
thank you girlie for your wonderful replies

thank you all for such kind words and encouragement.
my love to Poetry Land.
jm

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 09-26-2001).]

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

16 posted 2001-09-26 09:15 AM

Playing catch up today and ran across this gem. Be the flame not the endangered moth and raison d'etere. Enjoyed.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

17 posted 2001-09-26 09:22 AM

Be The Flame

Zinsser
Senior Member

since 2001-02-27

Posts 1641
Calif.

18 posted 2001-09-26 09:40 AM

Oh how I Love this write....
~Connie~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

19 posted 2001-09-26 09:52 AM

BE THE FLAME
O Dear Janet this moved me so!  This is
breathtaking, and I know not what to say poetess....I am in awe of your words.......your wisdom......your heart.
Thank you.......for the gift of you.

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

20 posted 2001-09-26 11:02 AM

This is just beautiful.

illusion
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 296

21 posted 2001-09-26 11:16 AM

don't be silenced by someone else's shame.
Don't carry someone else's blame.

Sometimes someone somehow puts things into perspective for us - these are words we all should remember.

I like your rhyming reflections. *S*

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

22 posted 2001-09-26 01:26 PM

hey, I missed my prime a long time ago and I'm still going .....this is deep, Janet Marie, deep!

Kathleen

"Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently."

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

23 posted 2001-09-26 06:18 PM

JM--

This is so stunning.....I have claimed this in my library...WOW....hope you are well my friend....

Lauren

I keep my ideals,
because in spite of everything,
I still believe that
people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank
09*12*01

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

24 posted 2001-09-26 06:49 PM

I've read this through a dozen times and
finally had to stop because I couldn't read
past the tears in my eyes...to many
reflections makes the eyes water you know

This was awesome baby...and you know
what...if anyone can be a flame and a moth
it's you!! That's why your are a Gemini you
know...twins don't have to be identical
**winkie winkie**
Love you!!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

25 posted 2001-09-26 07:05 PM

I can't think of a thing that hasn't been said, but I liked this a lot.
Sandra

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

26 posted 2001-09-26 09:19 PM

I had to read this again a couple of times, you know what it gives you a sense of power over things, and makes you feel pretty darn good. So back up it goes to make others feel good too!

~Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self~ Cyril Connolly

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

27 posted 2001-09-26 10:03 PM

'The doctors, they listen if you've got the dime,
all these head games make me wish I was a mime.
Lets see how good they are if they'd have to read my mind."
Then she asked, "So tell me ... why are you doing time?"
"I'm a depressed moth," said I, "sometimes only talking in rhyme."
She suddenly smiled ... "Seems to me there are worse crimes."
The nurse then came and called her name.
She looked at me shruggingly, "It's all just a game ...
don't be silenced by someone else's shame.
Don't carry someone else's blame.'

Well, J...you never cease to amaze me with your amazing knack for this rhyming thing...I am so totally impressed (nothing new)...these rhymes flow so easily, and you told the story with outstanding ability...ummmm, can ya tell I like it??

fantastic write, girlie!!

sp

tried to write a letter
to tell you how I feel,
but all I kept on writing
was slipping on the tears from the day...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

28 posted 2001-09-26 11:25 PM

Thank you to all who have replied...
I haved been gone all day and have to get caught up...I will get back to you all
but wanted to say thanks for these wonderful replies.....
take care
jm

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

29 posted 2001-09-27 06:15 AM

Like so many others I keep comming back to this one, and of course I also wanted to know you were smiling again.

You take care!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

30 posted 2001-09-27 10:01 PM

"Be the flame"
Wonderful advice, Janet, wonderful poem.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

Nate Dogg
Senior Member

since 1999-11-15

Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton

31 posted 2001-09-27 11:55 PM

Excellent work Janet.....your rhyme cadence was very nice!

Nathan

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

32 posted 2001-09-28 07:33 AM

Richard, Sun, Zinsser, GS, Smart Chick(WELCOME)

illusion, Kathleen, Lauren, Holly,Catalina, Sharon, Kris, Eagle, Dee and Nate,

Thank you so very much for these very generous and kind replies, I intended to come back and reply individually as I did to the first half, but things have taken me away from here the last two days, and I'd rather use the time replying to your poetry that I have missed....and by the looks of the board I have missed much. Its impossible to keep up in here now...
*sigh* so much poetry...so little me

Sharon and Eagle...thank you for coming back twice...you honor and humble me.

Thank you all so much,
peace and poetry
jm

Well tomorrow holds only mystery
And who's to say what might be
But in you I found a love so strong
The sun and the moon looked on in jealousy

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

33 posted 2001-09-28 11:53 PM

There's just got to be a reason we are the person we became

Pretty intense coming from a 'depressed moth'. This piece is full of strength, quite timely for this reader.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

34 posted 2001-09-29 09:39 AM

in the aisle of waiting she
ran her hand through loss of hair
once silent, I now would not be
and with a word, said "I care"
though those words were not spoken
we talked a bit of the day
a chance meeting, some friendship
was given, before we went our way

Be The Flame

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

35 posted 2001-09-29 09:54 AM

Duncan ... thank you for stopping by and the kind words

Lady Sun ... you honor me with your poetic graces ...thank you

and one would only need to follow your example to know how to "be the flame"

thank you all for the gracious replies to this.
peace and poetry
jm

We're all feeding our lonely ... like it might go away,
Like the doors of heaven will swing wide ... if we just find the right words to say.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

36 posted 2001-09-29 01:59 PM

Well, you already know my opinion of the construction of this piece and the wonderful strectching of growth you bring in a gift of rhyme, inner rhyme, and at times the choice to not lay a rhyme down. Alliterations aside (only because of jade tears ... LOL), this is a wonderful piece of investment into the soul and I for one am proud to see the steps into a brighter future for you. Well done and well said.

sunshinemist
Senior Member

since 2001-09-29

Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist

37 posted 2001-09-29 03:17 PM

Hi Janet Marie,

Very beautiful poem. I enjoyed it very much. I especially love the rhyme. Thank you for sharing.

Warm smiles,
Sunshinemist

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

38 posted 2001-09-29 10:00 PM

Janet Marie - very powerful words, well written with meaning and heart... I felt the words as I read them...

BC

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

39 posted 2001-10-12 06:57 PM

Jan,

See THIS is why I am glad I am back!
I ALMOST could have missed this

Ahhh...but I didn't

This was so beautiful....loved the
entire flow. My words hardly do justice
for your beautiful words...you humble me
my sweet friend! beautiful write

love you.
take care.
amy

"I could kiss you in
the rain forever.
Turn all of your pain to pleasure
Fill up your days with
sunlight, make the
passion last every night"

Logan
Senior Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 1641
Arkansas

40 posted 2001-10-12 11:32 PM

Very heavy sigh, HOW did I miss this? Janet Marie, you are the flame. The flicking flame of firesides, where your words touch so many deep inside. You are something else, lady poetess, I am fortunate to know you...very gentle smile

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

41 posted 2001-10-13 01:26 PM

forgive me all for taking so long to get back to this..things are so hectic here right now and my forum time is going to be limited for awhile...
but I so sincerely thank you all for the reception of this poem and for all of your constant support and encouragement.
love to you all.
jm

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

42 posted 2001-10-15 04:14 PM

There certainly ARE worse crimes than talking in rhyme... especially when the talk is this good. *S* Very well constructed, JM.

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

43 posted 2001-10-15 11:36 PM

Janet, don't know how I missed this. Powerful write. Unique style in this one.
Whip cream pedistals...

Parker

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

44 posted 2001-10-16 10:33 PM

This reminded me of you....

Two things...first...along a more serious note...There are those that would wish to carry the flame and can't any longer...as I felt this in your most beautifully expressive verse. Some advice is so wonderful to make use of if when we still can....second...I got this picture..a candid one in comparison to your moth...a cute little glow bug trying so hard to pump up and brighten himself with all his might just to stand next to you. You move me in so many different directions! Many hugs as I will try really hard to muster all the glow I have and daringly fly right into this weekends campfire.!!!! Well as close as I can get anyways.

Sincerely,
Regina

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

45 posted 2001-10-17 08:01 AM

forgive me taking so long to see these...
I have had computer probs and have not been able to get in here since Sunday.........

Ruth ... yes..there are worse crimes,and this moth has made more than her share of them..but if we learn from our mistakes then we are halfway there..Im trying....and only another poet would understand the need to rhyme.
thank you so much for the kind compliments.

P-man... thank you sweet tease...good to see your name here...whip creme? oh yeah

I'll bring the jello and cherries

Regina ... thank you so very very much for that beautiful picture, and for the smile you just put on my face on a day when I didnt think I could...(glowbug)

your compliments and understanding of my work
humbles me. As for that campfire...
well...the moth in me would tell ya not to forget the flameproof mascara...
BUT ... since Im trying to be better...
I will say...Be a butterfly...Be the flame

thank you so much dear poetess

thank you ALL for the response to this poem...
Im still blown away by the reaction to this.
peace and poetry
jm

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 10-17-2001).]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

46 posted 2001-10-17 01:12 PM

Playing with the rhyme thing are we??? Well, I know that I have heard this one on the phone but reading was a real treat. It always seems to be that way doesn't it? I love the format, cadence, and the total construction of this piece and even though you put a slightly different style up ... there is no mistaking it for a JM piece. Well done my friend of pen and flames. Nice to see you have grown yet again.

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