»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #16
»
Lorelei's Song (#7)
| Open Poetry #16 |
|
Lorelei's Song (#7) |
|
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
|
I was asked to write something about water, deep water, very very deep water - so here's something that might raise that person's spirits - The eastward lands sloped to the sand by the roiling sea, And I, alone, stood there mute, as her song called out to me. Another place, some future time, waited for me there, And so I proceeded downward into the salt sea air. The clouds sped by in silent flight, tendrilled wings aspread, Faithfully leading me eastward a little farther yet. In her call I swore I heard the promise of sweeter climes, And so I proceeded downward into that salt sea brine. The waves caressed my waist then chest as I followed on Drawing me ever into her irresistible, sweet song. The chill that met my body wet went deeper to my soul, As I in burning need surrendered the last of my control. Another step, deeper yet, the waves lapped higher still, The song drew me onward yet, as if against my will. I could swear I saw her there, her arms outstretched for me, My maiden fair, sweet Lorelei, in the roiling sea. The sea pushed urgently back at me, slowing me in my stride, But still I struggled nearer to my temptress Lorelei. The waves crested at my neck, the taste of salt was there, But I proceeded onward to where she waited there. My final steps took me too deep for me to catch my breath, But oh how sweet her arms would feel, though it would mean my death. She came to me with mirthful laugh and took me to her breast And then I kissed sweet Lorelei, and reached my final quest. The waves roll on from night to dawn, along that hidden sea, Calling out to men who wait for their Lorelei to sing. And in the air, if you pause there, you'll hear us lost men cry, For the sweet and tender love of the lovely Lorelei. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
This...is poetry. Don't know who made the request, but they certainly knew what they were doing! Show us some more, please! |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
good grief, this is so completely beautiful! have to keep this one  |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Thank you, Deca - My sweet Lorelei still sings, but now she gives me life. Susan - Thank you for your "good grief" - lol. I wondered if your SEA name would appear here. I'm glad it did, as you are a true romantic who sees my love of Lorelei in this poem. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 10-12-2001).] |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
oh yes, it shines in this and makes me smile and sigh she is a lucky lady to have such a romantic, poetic man |
||
|
jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
oh, I knew by the title I would love this, and I was right, and yep, you 2 are lucky to have found each other *soft smile* your love makes us smile |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
What a beautiful love story!! Excellent writing! |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I was saving this graphic, but I do believe this will now belong to you as this was indeed the most beautiful siren poem I have ever read. I hunt siren poems down as I love mermaids. I took it and put it in my little mermaid library and now you are on page 1 with my favorite mermaid picture to date. You are indeed inspired by the Lorelei. ~I always have time to listen to someone talking from their heart~ |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Susan - Lorelei does love the mushy stuff, I must confess, and I love her so much for that, too. She is all girl. JB - I'm glad it's our love that makes you smile, as I take my buffoonery very serious - lol. Thank you for your response. Martie - Thank you, sweet lady. Sharon - Do you wanna know what is really ironic about this Lorelei/mermaid thing? When I met Lorelei, all I wanted was her tail - oops  - and now I've got all of her! |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
BEAUTIFUL!! Into my library it goes! ~Nancy~ ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
||
|
Glenn Logan Member
since 2001-10-10
Posts 111Virginia |
Nicely done! Brings Masefield's work to mind, but there's nothing wrong with that! |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A man would go to the ends of the earth and into the sea to be with the woman he loves...James |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She came to me with mirthful laugh and took me to her breast And then I kissed sweet Lorelei, and reached my final quest. The waves roll on from night to dawn, along that hidden sea, Calling out to men who wait for their Lorelei to sing. And in the air, if you pause there, you'll hear us lost men cry, For the sweet and tender love of the lovely Lorelei. ================================ LJ...I have told you this before...but this lovely poem proves my point for me.... Though you like to joke and play with your poetry and have fun with the Pirate and kitty teases... when you write serious and from the heart... you are one Romantic fool  I love this side of your poetry. wonderful cadence to this beauty and the theme is carried out to poetic perfection. Well done POET (not pirate) SIR |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I remember this well, LgnJgn! I love the tale of the siren Lorelei! Cor |
||
|
Dennis Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 235Indiana |
have a love like this? Man, you're blessed. |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
LngJhnAg, You must have a sore back from all the pats your getting. Well here is one more wack you did a damn good job. Lorelei must be doing a dance. |
||
|
Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This is indeed an amazing piece of story telling in rhyme. I love the story of Lorelei. The Pogues did a beautiful ballad to her some years ago, but I think you have outdone their song. (high praise, I love that song!!!) And you are lucky enough to have got a real live Lorelei in your life!! If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
You know, LJ, I am use to seeing such light hearted poetry from you and this qualifies in that matter - but there are some very serious undertones I see here as well. When one truly loves, there is a death of sorts involved as they they truly give all of themselves over to the one they love. Having witnessed yours and L's love in person is something I still remember well. Knowing that two people could find eachother, even later in life, and still have so much happiness together gave me hope that I could find a love resembling yours someday... Think that day has finally arrived Anyway, I won't babble on here any further... Good to see read you again. You gave me a smile as always. Hope all is well back east with you all. Michael |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
IF this does not put a smile on someone's face....NOTHING WILL....It is so well written, descriptive, lingers in my mind from the words and the visuals....Thank you very much for allowing us to share this experience with you. |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Ah yes... and I have it on good authority that your Lorelei LOVES mermaids... Perhaps she really IS one, you sweet scalawag?? Love & Hugs  - to you both - I really love this poem...  |
||
|
SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
LngJhnAg~ This is so beautiful...the flow and rhyme are faultless and the meaning...*sigh* I love romantic poems like this  Thank you for the warm and fuzzies today!Hugs, ~Krista  Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
||
|
Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* such wonderful love for your sweetheart flows from your pen and onto the screen for all of us to enjoy. I am so happy to read of the truly deep love you have for your dear Lorelei...this is the kind of love we all seek and knowing you both have it gives hope to the hearts of those of us who do not. Keep writing these amazing words that tell us this kind of love indeed is real. I LOVE IT!!!!THANK YOU FOR SHARING. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
||
|
Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
He has so many sides doesn't he? He truly makes my life heaven on earth as he lives and breathes the same way he writes...except when he's grumpy..LOL..however, he makes up for that in the sweetness.. He has a new poem in the making..but I won't give ya any hints..but it's going to be good! We are going to a Halloween party as a Mermaid and Pirate..look for pictures!! |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
LJA grumpy? *G* He's missing Toe, too? LOL Dear sailor scalawag... the love you and Susan share is a rarity... and you're wise enough to recognize how lucky you are. *S* And whether playing or serious, you're a helluva poet.... unless, of course, you're kicking kitties. *G* |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I agree with Michael. Having found love SO VERY LATE in life has certainly been good for you Smooth writing, Long John. As I've said before, when you decide to set your pen to paper for some serious writing the rest of us can just sit around and take notes.  I'm NEVER gonna be able to steal Lorelei away from you if ya keep this up!  |
||
|
Carolina Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 224Myrtle Beach, SC |
All I can say is "WOW" You two ARE heaven with each other, and thank you for letting me see a piece of it through your poetry! *huggzzz*Live today as if it's your last. Love today as if it's your first. Lisa |
||
|
Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
My special thanks to you all for telling LJA how much you loveeeeeeeeeeeee his poems...makes him more eager to write them for me!!! |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Sighs - this is so beautiful, your dedication and desire for her touches me deeply That's the way real love should be!~Thank you for sharing this~ Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
