navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » I'll Never Know
Open Poetry #16
Post A Reply Post New Topic I'll Never Know Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-11-08 09:50 PM


Sometimes life is funny
We never really know
Where it will lead us next
Sometimes we are up
Other times we are down
Sometimes I wear a smile
Other times I just frown

No one really knows
How I feel deep inside
I've been numbed to the bone
As I hide my wounded feelings
From those who know me best
Trying one more time
To pass this wretched test

I often ask myself
Where it all will lead
If there is some purpose
What in the world could it be
I have never come near
The answers that I seek
I've tried and tried for years

I guess I'll never know
The reason for the trials
Still I try to persevere
Although it seems futile
I have buried my heart
Hoping and forever praying
It won't just fall apart


All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer L. Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-11-08 10:10 PM


Never bury your heart as long as it is still beating. Let it beat and lift your head up high, believe in yourself and keep moving. I don't offer empty words. I'm speaking from experience. If I buried my heart a long time ago I would have missed out on an awful lot.
I've been down so many times I almost forgot how to get back up but you know what?
I'm still here and so are you.

I know, I know that most people reveal a lot about themselves in their poetry. Why? Because it all has to go somewhere.
anger, frustration, hurt, disappointment, regret and what we think as failure. Half the time we didn't fail at all. Everything is not your fault, isn't anyone's entire fault.

my 2 cents  

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"

"Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently."

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2001-11-08 10:14 PM


You know for many years I used to wonder why I was experiencing so much and now today as I look back I see that because of my experiences I have learned to be more loving and compassionate towards others. You may never know the answer but I can tell you one thing. As you share your talent with us you are helping all who read your work. You may never know how many you touch either but touch them you do. I know because I have been touched deeply by your work. **hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

RosePetal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
3 posted 2001-11-08 10:23 PM


I know exactly what you mean.
I always wonder what the reason is behind something happening but I guess some things are better left a mystery.
Very Good Poem Jen!

Love,
RP

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
4 posted 2001-11-08 10:27 PM


Jen,

sweet friend...i have connected with you
and your lovely work since first coming
to Passions...and this is one of many
examples why. First off your write was
just utterly beautiful, in a sad but
understanding way. I know these feelings
that you pen...can't say as I feel the same
as you do (none of us do) but I can say
I understand. You have a beautiful heart
and your words show that brilliantly.
Never give up, there is a reason for why
we go through our trials and tribulations.
It may be years yet to come before you
know why, but your rainbow will be there.
Take care of you sweetie.
Amy  

"I could kiss you in
the rain forever.
Turn all of your pain to pleasure
Fill up your days with
sunlight, make the
passion last every night"

[This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 11-08-2001).]

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
5 posted 2001-11-08 11:08 PM


Jen...

I have walked many a mile very similar to
your own....I have asked a thousand times
why?  I have revisited so many moments that
I wish I could forget.  I have heard harsh
words in my mind over and over.  I have
cried and suffered through inner pain that
at one point I thought I could no longer
endure.  

I finally started finding peace through
hearing the words of others.  Learning that
I was not alone.  That I,  the human being
was so alike so many others.  That I was no
different.  

I first had to learn to forgive myself.
I also had to learn to forgive others.

I have learned one very important thing.

We were not given a book which told us what
to do in our lives, relationships, work, etc.
We often times learned by examples of our
fathers, mothers....They learned from theirs.

I have learned to forgive myself...

Like you,  I have learned that I have a talent of expression, of feelings.  I am
learning that my words also help others
heal....I know yours do the same.  I am
pleased to share mine as you share yours.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2001-11-09 12:05 PM


Lone Wolf--Such an emotional pulling poem..I can only say that termoil carries many lessons, and you may not understand them now, but if you are open...they will come and you will be wiser.  Hugs!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2001-11-09 12:22 PM



"I held you close so you could scream."

This is a poem I posted here last month, that could have been written for you. The fact is, my very first post at Pips was supposed to have been a reply to a poem you wrote, but being a newbie idiot, I hit the new post button, saw this flapping folder staring at me, and Vickie was kind enough to email me and tell me how to post. Anyway, your words always touch my inner soul.  

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

8 posted 2001-11-09 07:14 PM


back to the top for you....others should read this I think  

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"
also wrote as The Lady of Shallot
"be true to yourself"

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2001-11-09 10:30 PM


Ah! I like this LW. But you know that we are all given tests in life. How we handle the challenge is testimony to our strength. I don't think you could ever fail a test..you just make a decison and move on. Everything happens for a reason..you just have to find out why...
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
10 posted 2001-11-09 10:50 PM


i know not the words to comfort but i guess, we all do the best we can...whether our actions are meaningful/significant is secondary because we have already been true to ourselves??

Hugs and kisses...

peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
11 posted 2001-11-10 12:31 PM


As hard as you may want to, try not to hide
for when we do it's us that hurts inside
Keep writing I have hidden within myself for so long but now Im trying to take back the power that was once mine I am forgiving myself anf others in my life and it helps.
Also seeing writings like this help alot,because it lets me know that I'm not alone in this world.So know that you are not alone.
Peaches

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2001-11-10 11:24 AM


enjoy
EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
13 posted 2001-11-10 11:52 AM


Hang in there, Lone Wolf..you are NOT alone
Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
14 posted 2001-11-11 10:27 AM


I have buried my heart
Hoping and forever praying
It won't just fall apart"


its a every day battle, but with hope we prevail....peace lonewolf, hugs to you...fantastic write....
Greeneyes~


*****


I keep my ideals,
because in spite of everything,
I still believe that
people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank
09*12*01

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (edited 11-11-2001).]

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
15 posted 2001-11-11 10:36 AM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Jennifer, I believe we all have these feelings deep inside ourselves, and there is no accepted explanation for all of this, and there may never be. But I know deep down as long as you follow your loving heart and believe in yourself, you will find the bliss and joy within, and you'll never want to know, for you'll always be our special, beautiful loving friend! (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend!!! (kiss on cheek) We all love you!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jennifer, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shie upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

kat
Member
since 2000-05-20
Posts 387

16 posted 2001-11-11 10:44 AM


"No one really knows
How I feel deep inside
I've been numbed to the bone
As I hide my wounded feelings
From those who know me best
Trying one more time
To pass this wretched test"

You echo my feelings to the T.  I ask why daily and know that one day I'll have the answer. The problem is, that when nothing makes sense and no matter how hard you try nothing goes the way you want or the way you planned, it's difficult even though you know at one point the answers will be there. Numbing yourself is sometimes the only way you get through things.  I hope things turn around for you and that when you do get your answers they will be the one's worth waiting for because they'll finally be your dreams come true. Take care "Hugs"

Kat

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
17 posted 2001-11-11 01:17 PM


Kathleen: You are very wise, my friend.  My heart is still beating here.  I do believe in me, but some days it's not easy.  I don't believe I failed, but perhaps inside I feel I failed myself a little.  That is more disappointing than anything else.  Nothing is ever just one person's fault.  I truly believe that.  Thanks for the 2 cents.  

Startime: I believe every trial we face today perpares us for tomorrow.  I guess I see it more and more.  I never really thought about how many people I touch with my work by sharing it here.  Thank you for pointing that out to me.  If I can help others, than it will all be worth it to me.  

RP: Some things are better left a mystery.  perhaps this is one of them.  Thank you!

Amy: Aw, thank you very much for your words, my friend.  Sorry you know these feelings so well.  They are far from fun to experience, but hopefully I can learn from them and move on.  I doubt I'll ever really give up, just sometimes I get weary from the struggle.  So many questions, yet so few answers.  I have learned that all thing come in time, not my time but God's time.  So I will try to be patient.  

Magnus: I know what you mean, my friend.  The pain remains constant within until we realize a couple things.  First, we are not alone even though we feel that way.  Second, we are never given more than we can bear.  It all happens for a reason I believe.  Last, we have to learn to truly forgive.  I think forgiving yourself is far tougher than forgiving others.  I am happy to share my words with you and everyone else here.  Somehow, helping others doesn't make it seem so bad after all, does it?  

Martie: You are very right.  There are many lessons to be learned from this.  More than I ever imagined to be honest.  I am trying to stay open and take them as they come.  Thank you!

Midnitesun: Awesome poem you referenced!  Thank you for pointing it out and sharing it with me.  I relate to it in many ways.  Thank you for the compliment of touching your soul.  Your words do the same for me.  

Poet deVine: Oh yes, the tests in life are abundant.  I believe they have strengthed my character and made me a better person.  Sometimes I feel I failed, although I don't think any of us ever truly fail.  The only failure is to give up and stop trying.  There are reasons for eevrything and I am figuring them out little by little.  Thanks!

faterider: As long as ew are true to ourselves, that is the only thing that really matters.  If we know we did our best, we can walk away without regret.  So true.  Hugs and kisses back...

Peaches: Forgiveness does help, that's for sure.  You are far from alone and I see I am too.  Thank you for your words.  I appreciate them.

vandana:  

EagleScorpion: Thank you!

Greeneyes: The battle is daily, but my will is strong.  I believe it will prevail.  Thank you much.

Noah: We all feel this way at one time or another I agree.  I am doing my best to follow my heart and believe in myself.  Took me a long time to reach this point, but I finally have.  You, dear friend, are wise beyond your years.  Thank you so much for your words of love and encouragement.  God Bless You!  Your heart shines as well.  

kat: I'm so sorry to hear you relate to this so well.  Please know you are far from alone.  You will have the answers you seek one day as will I.  We just have to have faith.  Sometimes numbing yourself is the only way to deal with it until you are strong enough to face it head on.  I hope you get your answers also.  Things will turn around in time.  Take care.  ((HUGS))

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » I'll Never Know

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary