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Open Poetry #16
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Lapping up the pink of day
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Lapping up the pink of day |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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Lapping up the pink of day We picnicked upon boulder rocks cross-legged and triangular feeding the hunger from the roots of our bellies sun-soaked and drying like clothes on a line abandoned to the touch of November. Watching green we listened for tomorrows we laid out our yesterdays and spilled laughter into the stream. The sun spewed yellow in her resentfulness flushing our faces and bleaching our hair. Loneliness crinkled upon her lips. We dipped our toes and shrilled with excitement tadpoles once more became an interest lizards looked on in amazement as I did through the camera lens at my friends lapping up the pink of day. Dark Angel November 8, 2001. [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 11-07-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
Nicely written. Peaches |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is wonderful my friend. . . the images that you use here are great. . . I love the "pink of the day". . . makes me think of sunsets and sunrises. . . and of those bright times that always seem to stay with us. . .  ----------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
what a lovely image, "pink" is not my color but I loved it! -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree--I would have loved to be there...you did take a picture though, with this poem. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Excellent! ~Tier |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Soooooooo beautiful! (big hugggsssss) I hope you had the most wonderful time with your friends! (kiss on cheek) I always love your wonderful words! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet angel, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Maree, beautiful poem! your images in this are very creative and vivid...it is of surprise why I enjoy reading your work so much!! just a really fine write my dear friend. take care. amy "I could kiss you in |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Watching green we listened for tomorrows we laid out our yesterdays and spilled laughter into the stream." Wonderful Maree! Incredibly descriptive ... I felt drawn into the moment with your perfect imagery in this piece, very much enjoyed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
M Not sure what's wrong with me right now but i can't seem to offer any suggestions for improvement on ANY of your poems! Are they just too good i wonder? One question: why is the sun "resentful"? F |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Peaches: Thank you so much for stopping by and having a read. Much appreciated. Svenny: Thank you for your lovely comment dear "the pink of day" is not about sunsets/sunrises though I can understand why you see it that way. I was referring to "pink of day" being a perfect day. Thanks dear. Lady of Shallot: I'm glad you enjoyed and believe me Pink isnt my colour either heehehe. Thanks for stopping bye Martie: I would've loved it if you were there too m'dear, you would've loved it that I am sure of. Yes I did take pics and right now I am kicking myself, because I could've added a perfect one with the poem. but, nevermind. Thank you for your lovely reply dear friend. Tiersdin: Why, thank you so very much. Noah: I am so glad you enjoyed my poem and yes I had the bestest time. I thank you. Miss Amy: Thank you sweetheart for you always lovely replies, they mean alot to me. Kit: Thank you for your lovely reply, I'm so glad you enjoyed. I appreciate you stopping by. Best Wishes to you hon. furlong: How ya doing pal? Hmmmm you musn't very well m'dear if you cannot offer me not even one of your brilliant suggestions.  Why is the sun resentful? well because she was all the way up there alone shining down on us mingling with nature. If I was her on that day I would be resentful too.  Thanks for your lovely reply m'dear |
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furlong Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129 |
ah ic - silly moi c'est obvious  |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Maree....critique this.... YOU DONE REAL GUD....OH, wait, I am the one that is supposed to critique.... Seriously....beautifully written. very visual. Enjoyed this little break. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
wonderful as usual Mmy... your imagery is great as always... I think you could take the 'rocks ' out of boulder rocks --and "spilled laughter into the stream" reminds me of something, but i can't for the life of me rcall what...,but i will think about it and get back with you..lol greatly enjoyable hon hugs J There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
We all need some perfect days sometimes....James |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 I really like the imagery in this. Pink sunsets are great, and nothing can beat enjoying nature with a friend. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Sorry--just me again---heh... I think this is the "something" I couldn't recall at the time. It is from Kamla's (Severn) This Is Joy "(I fail to spill my fire onto a wick of mere words)" I just couldn't get that out of my head until I figured it out.. . ( sorry to interrupt your poem..lol).. JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
furlong: yur nor silly m'friend. Magnus: I DONE REAL GUD HUH? Well thank you so very much. Glad you were able to enjoy the break Jamie: Thanks for your reply m'friend and for popping by and having a read.. and for going to the trouble of finding out what "spilled laughter into the stream"reminded you off. Please could you go to the trouble again to explain to me how it reminds you of "(I fail to spill my fire onto a wick of mere words)" am curious  JamesMichael: yes we all need a perfect day and for me that day was absolutely perfect, as is your lovely reply. "perfect" captures the "pink of day" Thank you kindly. Midnitesun: Thank you so very much for stopping by and taking the time to read There were no pink sunsets or sunrises, not when we were there anyway, we werethere after sunrise and before sunset unfortunately we missed it. The Pink of day doesnt refer to the sunset or sunrise in this poem, it refers to "a perfect day" Thank you for your lovely reply Thanks all again for your lovely and kind replies. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
...guess it is all in the spilling...heh oh well--no use laughing over spilled fire... ( or something like that) There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
LOL Jamie, "spilling" yes thanks for the laugh, brings back memories hehe. Maree |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is gorgeous, Maree! Absolutely gorgeous! |
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