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Open Poetry #16
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Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 2001-11-07 06:33 PM


This is not about me.. just a poem.. no more no less.

I dropped the pillows all around the blanket on the floor.
I popped the cork out of the wine that I bought at the store.
I lit the candles I had placed strategically around.
Then went to don the perfect satin nightie I had found.

I turned the music to the correct volume, nice and low.
Then dabbed your favorite perfume on, its my favorite too, you know.
I have sent the children off to spend the night with friends.
Hoping that I will be able to spark our passion once again.

I go and check the dinner I have made with love and care.
And the sweet dessert I only made enough for us to share.
And then the phone, I answer, and I say that its all right.
You have called to say that you are working late tonight.

I put the cork back in the bottle and place it on the shelf.
Turn the stove off, grab the dessert, guess I'll eat it all myself.
I blow out all the candles, but I let the music play.
Think I'll go and see what all my favorite poets wrote today.

With perseverance even the snail reached the Ark.


© Copyright 2001 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2001-11-07 06:38 PM


Lucie, a poem by you can never be described as ...no more, no less. You make the reader feel your poem. I like this one very much  
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
2 posted 2001-11-07 06:49 PM


What Balladeer said and ... it evokes emotion in a story telling fashion.  Sadness and disappointment ... even disillusionment.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2001-11-07 07:14 PM


..sigh.........very well said. I could feel the anticipation and the ultimate disappointment. It's nice to read you here again Lucie.
peaches73533
Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981
OK, USA
4 posted 2001-11-07 07:20 PM


Lucie,I can relate fully with this one.Nice writing.Maybe its time for drastic measures.Thanks.
Peaches

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2001-11-08 02:44 PM


Never just a poem, Lucie... just perfection. *S* This is great work!
The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
6 posted 2001-11-08 02:47 PM


Yes, I enjoyed the story telling fashion of this one too. I like it when I can relate to something like this and follow along with it. Thanks
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2001-11-08 02:47 PM


I relate to this all to well.  Indeed......
Nice Write!!

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2001-11-08 04:35 PM


What a great write, Lucie.
The setting was for romance.
He missed a passionate chance.
Deserted dessert.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
9 posted 2001-11-08 05:42 PM


Well if it isn't about you, it easily could have been about me  

But then, probably not, for I, for instance would never, never put the cork back in the bottle  

Great poem, enjoyed it much

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/


[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 11-08-2001).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2001-11-08 07:52 PM


this was written beautifully...but I would have continued the evening...imagining he was there...

~Wynter

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
(J.Garland)

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
11 posted 2001-11-08 07:59 PM


I loved it just as it is - no more or less needed for me...

jwesley

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2001-11-08 08:03 PM


Lucie, this is PERFECT!  I could really feel the disappointment.  Excellent dear poetess!
~hugs, Nancy~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~

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