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Mansecf
New Member

since 2001-11-06

Posts 2
N. Carolina, USA

0 posted 2001-11-06 07:28 PM

I would really appreciate your comments on my current poem resubmitted to Netpoets today.

America's Freedom - Where do you stand?

I have been moved by Lady Liberty's flame.
And I've seen America suffer your shame.
Justice lights dim where adversity abides.
Overwhelming this Land's strength, it's symbols, it's pride.

Standing righteously firm is a radical offense?
Understanding.  Forgiveness.  Your only defense?
Peace can not reason where morality's never been.
Nor can the illusion of peace triumph over terrorism.

Pacifism only blinds what's right and what's wrong.
It has weakend our nation, once righteous and strong.
For evil's declaration in this blessed land,
Is to be above God, making mockery of man.

But my resolve will not weaken by those who portray
Pacifistic acceptance as being "God's way".
We founded this great country and "In God We Trust",
And I firmly believe in a God who is just.

You too have the freedom to believe and to voice.
Renouncing your Country is your right and free choice.
Or choose apathy, to remain silent, never yeild.
Allowing others to defend freedom, using "peace" as your shield.

So we're now at war, and where will you stand?
For or against freedom.  Anti or American?
Hero's will die so that our Democracy will reign.
That gives us the right to take pride or complain.

So it's my right to defend freedom. pay the price and take pride.
That gives you the right to put what that stands for aside.
In the symbol of freedom, our flag I will proudly display.
That pardon's your indifference.  You can just look away.

For this is America!  Land of freedom and diversity.
Many have died defending this Country's liberty.
She now cries for justice and together we must stand.
United by freedom, lead by God's righteous hand!

--Sumbited by Crystalline in appreication of all those who have died defending our right to be free.  God Bless America!

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member

since 2001-10-03

Posts 818
USA

1 posted 2001-11-06 07:31 PM

Are wanting a poetic critique of the piece of are you wanting a political discussion?

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2001-11-06 07:31 PM

BRAVO!!! Very nicely done.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

3 posted 2001-11-06 08:09 PM

Well, I stand and salute you for your support of freedom. No one defends freedom as well as Americans. BRAVO!!! I love it.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

4 posted 2001-11-06 08:36 PM

I won't critique this poem....I don't think
I could do anything that would make it have
more power, more impact on the reader.  You
have written this well.  You can take pride
in this.  Please take this poem and put it
away in a safe place.  Others may have an
opportunity to read it years from now.

Thank you for sharing a beautiful tribute
with us.

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