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Open Poetry #16
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silence of me
| Open Poetry #16 |
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silence of me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Voicelessness silence of me beyond the known complexities Choicelessness of YOU or ME to hide in snow or ebony... but as ye cut my very throat... you took away my choice of voice I wish that you had not sparked keg I wish that you had left one leg just for me to stand upon-- I wish that you had sang my song. Every answer, easy, sung, I feel like mother eating young... It did not have to be this way-- I wish I could wish you away. What is this madness that we speak? This language languished odyssey? And now, I know that you'd believe, I hate madness of discreet--- but no, I will not settle there, I'll meet your eyes--I'LL MEET YOU THERE. and beg for every part of me... Pacifist? Or cloaked in sheets? |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Morning... interesting write... like the thoughts in this piece...and as usual enjoyed your presentation of those thoughts... I find the ending a bit enigmatic in that the cloaked in sheets conjours images on several levels and thus allow the reader to ponder the meaningful conclusion... good stuff.... but I expect that from you ( grinning) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
to hide in snow or ebony  but as ye cut my very throat... you took away my choice of voice I wish that you had not sparked keg I wish that you had left one leg just for me to stand upon-- I wish that you had sang my song. Every answer, easy, sung, I feel like mother eating young... It did not have to be this way-- I wish I could wish you away. ===================================== and beg for every part of me... Pacifist? Or cloaked in sheets? ==================================== Youre nor "voiceless" when you write like this... beyond the clever metaphors wrapped in rhyme...this screams.... theres a song running thru my head? "Stand in the place that you live...." heart hugs me twin... miss you....love you me Well tomorrow holds only mystery |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
I like this. It is very good. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh my....serenity speaks! Love this one my dear. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well that was hardly "voiceless" and I heard all that you said - loud and clear! "And now, I know that you'd believe, I hate madness of discreet--- but no, I will not settle there, I'll meet your eyes--I'LL MEET YOU THERE. and beg for every part of me... Pacifist? Or cloaked in sheets?" - powerful writing, and I respect your use of metaphors so much Karen, well done. ~Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self~ Cyril Connolly |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
G'mornin' er, afternoon to you too cap'n...and everything still tastes like tequila...blech  --but thanks for reading as always, an interesting reply!  I know, it's been awhile, eh, oh and LOOK, the aspirin is right here (sometimes it's the LITTLE things in life that make me happy!Hey, Jan...long time no speak! Spent last night out in a local pub, listening to everybody talk politics, for once keeping my mouth shut---HA...but it's true, think I came home a little p.o'd.  love ya babes! SmartChick--I like you already...(love yer name) thanks for reading!  and...PdV READS! LOL...but thank you my friend...still going crazy here, but at least I've plenty of company!  Love you, lovely lady!Mysteria, the only thing better than one Sharon is two...my appreciation to you as well...you've been a real friend and I thank you much... and as to what it all means? Hmm...think I'll stay enigmatic, but will say that this is NOT an anti-MUSLIM statement. I certainly hope that it was not construed that way. As a matter of fact, I think it would not be a bad idea to have ALL PEOPLE have a call to prayer together five times a day...not to simplify it down to that level, but I do confess, I really like that part of it---PEACE to all, but yet? DON'T TREAD ON ME. |
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SEA-WATCHER Junior Member
since 2001-09-23
Posts 17 |
serenity, This is so full of emotion that I can read over and over and find something new, or interpret it in another way. Just TOO good of a poem! Great work! Sea Watcher |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Excellent write here. Think I'll go back and read it again If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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