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Open Poetry #16

Workman

WRBreezin
Member

since 2001-08-04

Posts 212

0 posted 2001-11-05 07:11 AM

Workman

Tear me from this lathe
a workman standing
boot high
in the scarlet shreds
of laborious ruin
This fortune amassed
but a chill of long tears
in the strain of regret
Tomorrow always tomorrow
I'll temper my greed
and taste love
should hope be so merciful
at the end of my day

Willie
©2001

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2001-11-05 10:51 AM

'should hope be so merciful at the end of the day'
Nice thoughts here Willie B, this was a fine poem!!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2001-11-05 11:14 AM

Willie--straight through the fabric to the core....I really like the way you write!

The Rusty Knight
Member

since 2001-08-29

Posts 414
Texas

3 posted 2001-11-05 03:16 PM

a workman standing
boot high
in the scarlet shreds
of laborious ruin

This is a dark poem with a message all of us have felt at one time or another. It has feeling, a message and flows very well.

Dan

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2001-11-05 03:27 PM

Tempered greed, tasting love instead. Nice imagery, straight forward, and to the point.

peaches73533
Senior Member

since 2001-11-04

Posts 981
OK, USA

5 posted 2001-11-05 03:50 PM

Your poem flows well and makes it's point.Nice writing.
Peaches

WRBreezin
Member

since 2001-08-04

Posts 212

6 posted 2001-11-06 07:32 AM

BluesSerenade, Martie, Dan, Midnitesun, and Peaches

Thanks for taking a look at "Workman" I'm glad you each found it enjoyable.

Willie B

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