Tongues of Flame (Melissa Honeybee's Challange)

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Open Poetry #16

Tongues of Flame (Melissa Honeybee's Challange)

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

0 posted 2001-11-04 06:06 PM

Tongues of flame licked at the walls
The stone was unrelenting
To tell you what I really felt
In the space your heart was renting.

I can bear the heat no longer
But cannot take back my words
I said them in the heat of Time
I now wrap myself in Regrets furs.

The room lit up in shadows
Your face outlined in flames
My heart set on fire once again
Love burning when you said my name.

Tongues of flame licked at the walls
The stone starts slowly to relent
To tell you what I really feel
In a space your heart no longer rents.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2001-11-04 06:10 PM

Skyfire,
Interesting write, enjoyed

Accordionmaid
Member

since 2001-10-28

Posts 153
MA/USA

2 posted 2001-11-04 07:07 PM

Very good, unusual, clever! Liked this.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

3 posted 2001-11-05 12:06 PM

Yes, this is very clever

Well expressed!
You used this phrase perfectly...

Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2001-11-05 06:13 PM

Beautiful Skyfire! Your closing line wraps it up wonderfully ... much enjoyed your cadence and rhyme ... challenge well met indeed!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

5 posted 2001-11-05 07:43 PM

BRAVO!!!!Oh well done. I love it.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

6 posted 2001-11-05 08:27 PM

BRAVO!!! OH RHONDA, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!! (smiles) May love forever fill your heart and answer all your hearts desires! (kiss on cheek) You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Rhonda, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

7 posted 2001-11-06 01:33 AM

Thanks so much you guys!! It was so wierd... I started writing about nothing in particular, and then the poem just took on a life of its own, and it ended up I was writing to my ex (possibly soon to be current once again). I have never had that happen before!! Thanks again for the replies!

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