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Open Poetry #16

my head once bowed...

Nature Girl
Junior Member

since 2001-10-19

Posts 31

0 posted 2001-11-02 11:52 AM

my head once bowed
to gold and to gods
my words were silvered
sinless and soft
the skin of my mind
tenderly touched
with salubrious thoughts
cogitations risked over the edge,
barely conscious of the core

But I grew up and
I drove down
and now I’m swimming
and now I drown
mermaids and monsters
painful and bright
their beautiful voices
tearing through my mind

this soul in its travels
has been shaded and torn
it shimmers and dances
it grieves and romances
a deathly decor

sometimes I breathe to you,
and I fumble out
writhe for your hands
actuality in doubt
I’d draw the silk curtain of
sight over your face
if I had

anything but words
anything but words

you try to give me language
I scream at the sound
but if you listen
with the ear of my eyes
you’ll see I’m singing,
you’ll see I’m spinning
sickening and lovely
it is brutal in my world

there was a girl
who was sacred and shy
she warmed your heart
your body and light
she was crafted in the art of restraint
then one day the floods:
she washed in fury & taint
bloody and battered
raw love ripped apart
she understands now
the whole of her heart

red and shiny
crystal and dark
I was carelessly blind
but now I’m carefully cruel
and you’ll run if I know
what’s good for you

my head once bowed
to gold and to gods
they flew me high
and I shot them down...
I wear a crown of feathers
and a razor smile
now my backyard:

piles of angels
piles of angels

Glenn Logan
Member

since 2001-10-10

Posts 111
Virginia

1 posted 2001-11-02 12:21 PM

Powerful imagery and wonderful lines, though I have to admit I'm puzzled by the ending, and even though that perhaps a part had been omitted. I wonder if a re-working of this poem, keeping the images but clarifying the ideas, might work even better.

Best wishes,

Glenn Logan

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