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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2001-10-28 07:59 PM

Death is on the edge of me
it’s glaze a breath between the skin I see,
a form in dare surrounding life.
Each of us a figure still
waiting by the windowsill. (of ever. - never!).
Death is frost, forming, a soul encrusted soon in ice,
a coat of darkness spilling, absence will, suffice.
One single day, one thousand threats,
all the evil secrets kept.
Inside this view, given to me
it’s on the edge, of all of we.
It’s death around a smile swell
a talker talks, and all is well - (It seems).
The touch of ending gathers near
a song unsung is in my ear
and so I watch and cringe in fear
as steeples crash and death is dare.
It is on the edge of me
it’s glaze a breath between the skin I see.
See.

[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 10-28-2001).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2001-10-28 08:21 PM

Reaching deep inside
peeling layers of real time,
feelings, like tart lime.

Peel 'till bitter stings,
layers of feelings go deep.
Then I stop awhile.

My mind makes me reel,
world outside seems so unreal.
It takes time to heal.

Spitfire, I hear your distress cry,
there is too much death nearby.
Your work touches me deeply.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

2 posted 2001-10-28 08:30 PM

You really have a talent for making your words bounce off the page in a power of emotions. This is very well written indeed.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2001-10-28 08:32 PM

WOW!! This is powerfully written!! ~Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

4 posted 2001-10-29 12:02 PM

Death's a shadow taking hold
warm life won't let it in,
it's dark and quiet and it's cold
Love life to it's chagrin.

Hear the music and then scoff
lest fear be mortifying,
in the end you're better off
to think of death when dying.

I find pessimism softens fear of dying. Become quite good at it. My gallows humor is such that co-workers and friends seek me out in stressful times knowing that quipped spit in the eye is sometimes what the situation begs.

"And quitting life you quit thy living pain...
For all the dismal tales
that poets tell
are verified on earth
and not in hell"
-Lucretius

"Happy people have no history" - French Proverb

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2001-10-29 05:13 AM

Ah...and she rhymes! Miss A, this is an interesting treatment of this eternal topic.
Particularly the reference of death and skin...(also a good metaphor for regeneration too) lots of good stuff here, as always, and hey Miss A...drop me a note. let me know how you are....have some camera questions for you!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2001-10-29 04:01 PM

Alicia, I would love to sit and chat with you sometime hehe but that would only be in my dreams seeing you are all the way over there and I am here.....

Nice to see you rhyming too, you do it so well, but I doubt that there would be anything that you couldnt do! I really love this piece, it's very deep with so much meaning..... so much to ponder.

Please keep posting m'dear, I so look forward to reading you. Hope all is well.
And as you say... Peace you!

Maree

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

7 posted 2001-10-29 05:39 PM

SpitFire - This is an interesting and very different type of write. I liked it. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

8 posted 2001-10-29 10:14 PM

"It's on the edge of me". I think that summarizes all your work my friend and lends such power to it and to what we feel/see when we read it. Excellent write Spit.

jwesley

...and if you get the chance I'd like your take-or not-on "Crying Came Later" in Dark Passions.

[This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 10-29-2001).]

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2001-10-30 01:10 AM

Yes I see, and these lines are all to familiar in these situations:
"a talker talks, and all is well - (It seems)." Powerful write, well done.

~*~ Carpe' Diem ~*~

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

10 posted 2001-10-30 07:27 AM

Powerfully written. I love this one!!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

11 posted 2001-10-30 08:20 AM

Hey there, you do sound a little down. This is so well done, like you spoke something everyone has been feeling strongly the past month but in a stronger and original way. Hard to do. But you made it look natural...
Sandra

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