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Open Poetry #16
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wornways
Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204
CA, USA

0 posted 2001-10-27 05:27 AM


Your Loss


How could you turn your heart from love so grand?
A love as hers you will not know again;
Your loss is greater than you understand.

Her burning love for you would all withstand;
Never a love so pure will you attain;
How could you turn your heart from love so grand?

Unto the end would she have held your hand;
Through life with not another ever lain;
Your loss is greater than you understand.

She would not in her days her love remand;
A truer love in life you will not gain;
How could you turn your heart from love so grand?

No deeper love than hers is in the land;
Perdurable, through time would it remain;
Your loss is greater than you understand.

With broken heart have you left her to stand,
And empty left her all alone in pain;
How could you turn your heart from love so grand?
Your loss is greater than you understand.



© Copyright 2001 Erin A. Thomas - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-10-27 06:54 AM


this is a very interesting rhyme scheme you have chosen/created...made for delightful cadence.
very cool writing...
Welcome to Poetry Land wornways...
I had a quick look at your webpage...
will come back when I have more time,
I look forward to hearing some of those recitals...I love poetry read aloud.
Nice to have you here with us.
jm

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
2 posted 2001-10-27 11:49 AM


BRAVO!!!!A MASTERPIECE!!! I love the structure and the whole content of this wonderful poem. BRAVO!!!

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2001-10-27 12:06 PM


Wornways,
It reads like a villanelle and a good one at that. Enjoyed

wornways
Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204
CA, USA
4 posted 2001-10-28 01:07 AM


ahh, thank you peoples! yes, this is a villanelle. wrote it for a friend of mine who's fiance dumped her and got married to someone else less than a month later. what a dork. i believe she saw to it he got a copy of the poem.   anyway, thanks again!  
Kevin Taylor
Member
since 1999-12-23
Posts 185
near Vancouver, BC, Canada
5 posted 2001-10-28 09:20 PM


One thing about villanelles, they put the kibosh to run-on lines. And your repeaters are particularly well suited. Thank you!

Kevin

"Poetry is, at once, what you get... and how you get there."


Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2001-10-28 10:22 PM


wornways - this a wonderful piece. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and am going back to read again. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

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