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VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-09-23 12:29 PM

Morning’s Dawn

The morning light
dawned on me
delightful sprite
in filigree
that dresses well
the scenery
and musters up this day

Sunlight’s gleam
echoes on
leaves
and stretch of lawn
and blossoms which
share autumn’s brawn
in clustered bright array

It sparkles from
each window glass
as daylight creeps
each hour’s pass
and stirs each heart
of lad and lass
who ride its beams away

© September 23, 2001

I've had good help and have edited the above poem. I think I was having difficulty with it because I kept thinking of how "the Nation's Grief was ending" and today, Sunday, the flags would be at full staff again.
More than five thousand lives...shouldn't they each get at least 3 days? I know most, surely, shall mourn 9/11/01 for a long time. But then a nation in mourning for 15,000 days is probably what the terrorists would like.

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 09-24-2001).]

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

1 posted 2001-09-23 05:42 PM

I like it - I'm trying to think of a different line for a finale, and I can't come up with one that's better than you've already written... Nicely done, VAS..

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2001-09-23 06:17 PM

Thanks, Nan! Where'd you get that great sun?

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2001-09-23 07:23 PM

Enjoyed!! I like the ending....it fits. Good writing. I feel the same about the flags as well...my personal Canadian one will still fly at half staff for quite some time to come. Nancy.

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

4 posted 2001-09-23 09:39 PM

A great poem,
and agreement
on the flag.
at least for awhile longer.

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

The Rusty Knight
Member

since 2001-08-29

Posts 414
Texas

5 posted 2001-09-23 10:14 PM

Dawn marks a new start. The warmth of the sun helps melt burning sorrow to a dull ache of remeberance...I don't think any of us are ready to raise the flag to full staff yet, but as we rise from our knees in prayer, we still continue to pray.....the flag shall rise and we will continue to remember...tears will dry and we will continue to remember...we will rebuild and continue to remember...we will continue to remember because they are not just etched in or mind but in our heart.....Your poem stired up some new emotions and new thoughts...like a new dawn

Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2001-09-23 10:58 PM

Thank you all, and RK, you brought more tears to my eyes...so beutifully, so eloquently said.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2001-09-24 01:36 AM

I was surprised that the flags would go to half staff so soon. For some reason, I felt 30 days would be about right.
Your poem is very nice, and I can't see any reason to change it.

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

8 posted 2001-09-24 03:38 AM

Wasn't sure where you were going with this one. You seem to have saved it up for the last line, though I still wasn't sure who they were.
I would suggest that you change 'that' to 'who' in your last line (if that's what you mean).
All of that aside, I really like this, VAS.

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