Loon senryu , and then some

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Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2001-10-25 02:44 PM

Loon madness at night
So sadly she cries her plight
Love stolen in flight

For I cannot deny that I heard your cry
of Love lost in the blink of an eye,
so I offer this song to the cerulean sky
where the heart of your Love does lie,
wondering why he had to die
and leave you alone to cry
in the pouring rain.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2001-10-25 02:49 PM

(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Kathleen, this broke my heart reading it, it's so short, but so heartaching. (sad sigh) Oh Kacy, I hope this isn't related to a real experience you've had, but if it is, my heart is with you always, and cries to you and pray you may again be healed by sweet unconditional love! (sigh) So sad but beautiful, sweet friend! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kathleen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2001-10-25 02:54 PM

Oh, you big sweetie, Noah. No, it's a combo of feelings, literally for the loons, but poetically for the stolen hearts of September.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

3 posted 2001-10-25 02:59 PM

Midnitesun - this is an awesome read!! Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

4 posted 2001-10-25 03:20 PM

I love the senryu, the RHYMING senryu

Well done.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2001-10-25 03:30 PM

Thank you nightshade. Glad you liked this.

Interloper, I had a feeling you would enjoy this one. I also like rhyming senryus.

walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

6 posted 2001-10-25 04:06 PM

Love this one.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2001-10-25 07:45 PM

Walker, thanks for visiting my loons.

Glad you liked.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

8 posted 2001-10-26 12:10 PM

Midnitesun,
Okay hotshot. I know nothing about style...but I like it anyway.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2001-10-26 01:02 AM

Hey, glad you like it. You know plenty about style...just not this style maybe. Haiku is a 5-7-5 syllable Oriental style poem with a nature theme, and I don't think it usually rhymes, and senryu is a 5-7-5 theme about anything...not necessarily nature, and not always following "traditional" haiku thought.
there is also the Tanka form, but then that's another lesson best taught by poetic masters, not me. Got more than you asked for maybe?

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

10 posted 2001-10-26 01:20 AM

Midnitesun,
Huh?

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

11 posted 2001-10-26 01:25 AM

Oh great, now I've got you crying for a Tanka toy!
Wait 'till tomorrow, I'm working on finding you a really nice one.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

12 posted 2001-10-26 01:30 AM

Midnitesun,
Cool!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

13 posted 2001-10-26 01:38 AM

MidniteSun~

Sounds across the night
Lone voice of loon seeking mate
Cry echoes alone

~*~

I heard the loon cry
In feathering sigh of hearts
So alone am I

~*~

Season brings new change
Flight of loon circles again
Cry calls out from one
Reaching nest of another
All is right in nature's nest

Thank you, for the inspiration.
I needed that~

Larry~
Haiku
Senryu
Tanka

*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

14 posted 2001-10-26 01:58 AM

Marge to the rescue! What a wonderful reply, from a master.
I bow, and thank you.

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

15 posted 2001-10-26 02:02 AM

Midnitesun,
Wow! How did Marge do that? Never mind, I'd just be confused again!

She is going to post that, right?

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

16 posted 2001-10-26 02:07 AM

She might say she just did, but it sure would look pretty on a separate blue page. I have some loon pics, but haven't learned how to add photos yet. (SLOW) Knowing Marge, she has a whole file full of them

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