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Open Poetry #16
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2001-10-19 11:29 AM


To whom do you sing so sad of a song,
For whom does your shed tears of pain belong,
And why do you remain in this dismal place
With tears slow flowing down your soft sad face.

I hear your sobbing behind what you sing

Strumming strings softly in the cold dark night
Touching emotions as she plays so light,
Stale smoke filled air hangs down from the ceiling
All that listen are moved by your feeling

I hear your sobbing behind what you sing.

The music stops and the tears keep flowing,
It’s closing time and we must be going
I head for home just for the going’s sake
The song’s memory clings and I’m awake.

Gloom

[This message has been edited by Professor Gloom (edited 10-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
1 posted 2001-10-19 11:40 AM


This is sad. But, really good. I like it.
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
2 posted 2001-10-19 11:43 AM



Anyone could be flip and remark that you just can't get that song out of your head, but what you did was listen with the heart, and that, Sir, makes all the difference...

An excellent write.  Thank you...

WindWalker
Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 1218

3 posted 2001-10-19 12:13 PM


I like this alot! Sad but very good!!!!!!!
sunshinemist
Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist
4 posted 2001-10-19 12:56 PM


Sad, but good write. Thank you for sharing.         ~hugs~

smiles ~Marie~
happiness is contentment of the heart

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2001-10-19 03:03 PM


For only you I'd sing a song,
of shadows reaching into night.
Emotions playing background sounds,
as arms reach out to hold you tight.

Your words, though sad, bring tears within.
I cry each memory, each touching feel.
While I'm awake, I  join in song,
awaiting til next time is real.

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2001-10-19 03:06 PM


Ah Gloom....this is so sad....but very very well written.  Enjoyed much today.
~hugs, NancyLee~


  ~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2001-10-19 03:06 PM


Very good capturing of the moment Gloom.  I did enjoy this one so.  

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
8 posted 2001-10-19 03:50 PM


soothing thoughts for this autumn afternoon...

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-
Anna

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

9 posted 2001-10-19 06:11 PM


~For it to cling, and you to notice,...huge heart. This seeps sadness and acceptance. *Peace you.
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2001-10-19 06:32 PM


this is sad,  but a very well structured
poem.  I had never experienced this style
before.  I like it.  

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
11 posted 2001-10-19 08:19 PM


*sigh* tears flow freely as I read this beautiful sonnet and yet there is such an understanding in you of the tears she sheds. Thank you for the insight you share in these beautiful words.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
12 posted 2001-10-19 11:39 PM


Hey, who let you into my house???!!! This could sometimes be me, even down to the stale smoke hanging about!!! (except, if I really were singing, you wouldn't hang about. Hell, even the cat won't hang about when I'm singing!!!)

Seriously, wonderful writing, with deep thoughts in it. Very touching

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

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