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Open Poetry #16
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2001-10-17 11:48 AM


Frosted breeze
From sidewalk canyons
Stopped by collar
Set in upright
Still chilled.

His eyes
Searched familiar
And landed on one
Too familiar for comfort
When the name was unknown
The experiences uncrossed

Her movements
Like curtains on warm evenings
Promised comfort of refreshing
While the images in his head
Danced from a soft touch
To break away hopes
As rare smile crossed lips
Holding words never to be said.

Adjusting his coat
He remembered
Turned to walk again
on the currents
Of days demands

Still…
When later came
He replayed the images
And felt the soul of one
He might never know


© Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2001-10-17 11:51 AM



Applauding...wildly...and far to loud for a Lady, I am sure, but applauding, nevertheless....

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-10-17 11:58 AM


Her movements
Like curtains on warm evenings
Promised comfort of refreshing
While the images in his head
Danced from a soft touch
To break away hopes
As rare smile crossed lips
Holding words never to be said.
=====================================


well inspired poet sir......
very well inspired  

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2001-10-17 12:02 PM


GR8 thunderous applause from the peanut gallery
One of your better works my friend IMHO.

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
4 posted 2001-10-17 02:31 PM


Your poem is so unique, the words stay with me and I've read this several times. My favorite phrase is "like curtains on warm evenings."  That stays with me. A wonderful metaphor and a fine poem.

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-
Anna

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-10-17 02:56 PM


Cpat Hair,
True and well done, enjoyed

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
6 posted 2001-10-17 04:09 PM


Another of your works to add to my collection... well done, Captain!

*smiles*

~Tier

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2001-10-17 05:56 PM


Your work amazes me in its ability to comfort and inspire---I treasure each one.
You are a gifted writer, Ron.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2001-10-17 06:00 PM


Ron....excellent work...into my library it goes!!  ~Nancy~
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
9 posted 2001-10-17 11:26 PM


*oh my gosh* such yearning in these words. How can you know you will never know them if you do not try? Take a chance on life. This poem made me stop and think and for that I thank you. Very well written.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

10 posted 2001-10-18 08:55 PM


His eyes
Searched familiar
And landed on one
Too familiar for comfort
When the name was unknown
The experiences uncrossed

I could have sworn that I responded to this...wish I could remember what I said.  lol  Great write, Ron, especially liked this part.

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
11 posted 2001-10-18 10:36 PM


Beautiful write. It has a very haunting quality to it.

Still…
When later came
He replayed the images
And felt the soul of one
He might never know

This part really touched me.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2001-10-18 10:42 PM


"Her movements
Like curtains on warm evenings
Promised comfort of refreshing"

"Turned to walk again
on the currents
Of days demands"

This is enchanting Ron ... such a beautiful moment captured in time with incredible phrasing, very much enjoyed!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
13 posted 2001-10-19 06:31 AM


Oh my goodness!!! A true connection C! This is (exactly) the in between the lines I wanted to portray when she first saw her stranger. You have to know my heart...to know how important my implication was for someone to sometimes speak to a stranger. He is the soul I wanted her to meet with. You are so amazing and I can't believe I inspired anything this close to my heart. You write in time with everything that is pouring out! I'm saving this forever. Thank you!

Sincerely,
Regina

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