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Open Poetry #16
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vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2001-10-13 12:34 PM




~Childhood Daze~

Eerie echoes of children’s voices
Fill deserted playgrounds of the mind
As shadows play little games of hide and seek

Heart swings higher, ever higher…’up to the moon’
Teeter-totter of emotions…up…down…up…down…
…down

Merry-go-round spins faster…ever faster
As world spins out of control

Life…a grown-up model
Of the playgrounds of yesterday

~vlraynes



"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

[This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 10-13-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
1 posted 2001-10-13 12:38 PM


Quite true!

Well done!

~Tier

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-10-13 12:39 PM


I like the comparison and contrast here vicky! I couldn't agree more...nice presentation and a very thoughtful piece of work...smiles and hugs and "miss you too"!
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-10-13 12:42 PM


yesterday stays in our hearts and we never forget.....I like this Vicky   touches emotions deep...very well done poetess  
Larry C
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Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
4 posted 2001-10-13 12:48 PM


Vicky,
The contrasts of this poem are very telling about adulthood.  How tragic that we lose our innocence.  Nice poem.
Larry C

Sin isn't fair, but God got even, grace isn't fair either.  larry c

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-10-13 12:55 PM


I loved the poem, your use of contrasts, and using the black and white photo to top it all off made for one excellent presentation Vicky, which I really enjoyed.

~I always have time to listen to someone talking from their heart~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2001-10-13 12:58 PM


Life…a grown-up model
Of the playgrounds of yesterday

Some of my most sincere introspection is done on playgrounds...I swear!  Loved this.  And the pic is awesome, too.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-10-13 09:19 AM



If I push your swing to the sky
will you giggle as you go high?
will you laugh, and play with me?
Come, let's you and I go climb a tree!

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
8 posted 2001-10-13 09:30 AM



"Life…a grown-up model
Of the playgrounds of yesterday"


What a thought-provoking piece....powerful presentation.  It stays with the reader even after they're through reading.

Hugs,
~Krista

Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself.  
Thank you for having the courage to share yourself so that I can too

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

9 posted 2001-10-13 09:45 AM


Life was so simple back then, wasn't it? Great expression, Vicky!
Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2001-10-13 04:19 PM


Vicky~
What a pleasing piece of nostalgic writing.

I remember swinging sooooooooo high -'kicking the stars'~
What a fun, fun piece~

You've sure got a knack for bringing those memories back to the reader~
Thank you~

Meet you on the playground~
Love ya', gal~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com              

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
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Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2001-10-13 05:52 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Such a sad and tragic poem about the loss of innocent days! (big huggggggssssss) I always wish I could go back to my younger days and have just one smile that I could cherish as a golden memory. I am 17 now, and I have had a very heartbreaking youth, though I will always hold onto the child in me and dream sweet dreams I am so fortunate to dream every night! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2001-10-13 07:05 PM


You're never too old to have a happy childhood!  Come lets run and jump on the carousel!  I get the white horse!  Wonderful write...truly enjoyed this!  ~Hugs, NancyLee~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~
  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
13 posted 2001-10-13 07:05 PM


You're never too old to have a happy childhood!  Come lets run and jump on the carousel!  I get the white horse!  Wonderful write...truly enjoyed this!  ~Hugs, NancyLee~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~
  

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2001-10-13 09:06 PM


Tick tock
where does play go
when is the minute toys are us
and we play life instead of house
we cry real tears.

I loved your poem and photo, Vicky.  I hope you don't mind my adding a verse from along time ago.  Hugs!  (PS  Thanks for reading liking my story)

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
15 posted 2001-10-14 01:42 AM


Life…a grown-up model
Of the playgrounds of yesterday

This is so true. Funny, when we're young, we don't realize we have it so good. Mom not letting us do what we want. We think "when I get old I'm gonna do whatever I want".  Then we grow older and find bosses are the same, we still can't do what we want  

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
16 posted 2001-10-14 02:32 AM


Vickie, this is quite awesome, very nice job with this..very gentle smile
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
17 posted 2001-10-14 08:32 AM


Fill deserted playgrounds of the mind


what a line....nicely done, Vicky
((hugs))
~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
18 posted 2001-10-14 08:33 AM


This is very well done, Vicky - and the stark contrast of the black and white photo adds yet another dimension... Nicely done, tiger...
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
19 posted 2001-10-15 12:28 PM


i'm REALLY liking this one....!!!  "up to the moon...."

so very true it is...
tricks, youre a poet...  

hugs, g

~dgvarner/fallen rain~

"what if jesus comes back like that..will he cry when he sees where our hearts are at?..." c.raye

cottage
Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 138

20 posted 2001-10-15 05:17 AM


wonderful wonderful!!!!

cottage

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
21 posted 2001-10-15 07:32 AM


Interesting comparrison on life. As children we live in the innocence of reality. The grown up version of living in a world out of control is not so fun.
Oh to be a kid again.
Good poem!

Hugs,
Deb

cpalmer
Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977
Phoenix, Az
22 posted 2001-10-15 02:42 PM


Vicky,
I'll come play on the playground with you! Who says just cause we're all grown up that we can't still play?  This is beautiful and very heartfelt...You touched my heart dear friend...the playgrounds of yesteryear can be the playgrounds of the future to ya know?
You are an awesome writer...don't ever stop!
Love ya
Cindi

Kirksters
Junior Member
since 2001-07-01
Posts 47

23 posted 2001-10-19 06:37 AM


Excellent poem Vicky, Wish I was a kid again, Nicely done.
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