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Open Poetry #16
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let me know...
| Open Poetry #16 |
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let me know... |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida 
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let me know when it happens i want to see your face when the change comes i want to know does it happen quickly or is it a slow change-- this aging that comes with sorrow grief so harsh the soul withers the heart hollows only to fill again with the poison tears over and over and over until one day you realize you have completely lost-- youve lost every chance to build a bridge youve lost every chance to throw a line youve lost every moment to reach out and touch the tangible youve lost youve lost oh, what youve lost... let me know i want to see... and after i see you crumble-- the sorrow grasped the grief stricken the anger spilt when i see you crumble i will gather you up i will rock you into my soul and i will whisper, i know-- i know... oh how i know... and i will cry your tears-- for i will have lost again.... -dgvarner 10-15-01 for scott ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ "what if jesus comes back like that..will he cry when he sees where our hearts are at?..." c.raye [This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 10-16-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 dgvarner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sunshinemist Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595Fl. sunshines early mist |
I liked this one! Nicely done. Thank you for sharing. ~hugs~  smiles ~Marie~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Chance a word and I'll spank you!!  I think it is excellent |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
DG~ Nicely emoting of feelings~ I like it just the way it is~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I really enjoyed it just the way it is. Love this style of writing.....words tumbling down the blue page..... ~smiles, Nancy~ ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
Powerful and straight from the heart. It is perfect as is. Magnificent. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Be kind? Get real!....I think this is a beautiful poem....very well written and says so much....I enjoyed it. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
oh. . .and I wish you had been there to make the offer. . . I know about this too, dg, nice write! Thank you. e |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Really like the way you stated this...very nicely done...jwesley |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
dg, incredible write here. bravo. Parker |
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Pixydust Junior Member
since 2001-01-14
Posts 36 |
the soul withers the heart hollows only to fill again with the poison tears over and over and over until one day you realize you have completely lost-- youve lost every chance to build a bridge youve lost every chance to throw a line youve lost every moment to reach out and touch the tangible OH, how powerful these words are! Everything you said is oh so true and i thank you for writing what i've wanted to express for so long now. ~Pixydust |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
until one day you realize you have completely lost-- youve lost every chance to build a bridge youve lost every chance to throw a line youve lost every moment to reach out and touch the tangible youve lost youve lost oh, what youve lost... I'm finding that I relate much to this, tonight. I will save it so as not to forget it's message. Thanks. |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
Please don't change it. It is so moving and great the way it is. Thank you for sharing Heather (CherokeeGirl) Without the experiance of love where would we be? We would have no memories to cherish. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
wow..watch me be pleasantly surprised...lol i didnt expect such a turn out of replies! and you like me! cool beans..!  SUNSHINEMIST..glad you enjoyed it 'DEER..really?? i think i might have to change a word..or two...  thanks 'deer..MARGIE..thanks a bunch NANCY..i like that--"words tumbling down the blue page"...  thanks!STARTIME..thank you for "magnificent"! MAGNUS..thank you much!!  KRAW..i know you know my friend... "when i see you crumble i will gather you up i will rock you into my soul..." JWESLEY..thank you much! PARKER...coming from the master of sonnet...i think i may not change a thing in this one..lol thanks parker.. PIXY..i hope it doesnt happen this way..but life is that uncertain...thanks for reading.. DUNCAN..yes..save it then..dont forget how uncertain, how fragile life is.. thanks for stopping in HEATHER..i think i may leave it.. thanks a bunch..apparently this doesnt need much explanation, which at first i thought it might..but i wrote this to my cousin, who seems to have let some wedge be driven between his father and himself...i envy him for having the opportunity to make it right again, for being allowed to say to his father, "i love you"...i'm angry with him for not taking the opportunity that i can no longer take with my own father..i want to rip it from his hands and make it mine..but life does not allow it..and at the same time as my anger bubbles..i feel for him in the scenario moment that his father is taken away from him... so..there you have it..the story behind the words i write.. thank you for reading, and thank you even more for enjoying! hugs, g |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
Gale, This is hauntingly and achingly beautiful in its heartfelt expression. I can relate to this poem so well; it mirrors a similar situation I have with my own father. And don't change a word, it's perfect the way it is. Thanks for sharing - hugz - Jeff "I'm still waiting on a revelation here in Never-Never land..." |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Such a sentimental and compassionate poem this is! (big hugggssssss) Wonderful!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Gale-(if Jeff can call you Gale, then so can I)  This is an awesome write! I literally felt every word of this, and it brought tears to my eyes...and my heart. I think this may be one of my favorites of yours. You done good! Thanks for sharing the story behind it too. Love and hugs,  ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
Dg, This is beautifull as is all your writing! so hearfelt! the story behind it brought tears to my eyes as well as the poem itself! Thanks for sharing Hugs Cindi |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
dg Wow! I hope you're around when I get old. Heart rending write. Well done! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
JEFF, NOAH, TRICKS, CINDI....i answered your replies once...but i see it isnt here..jeez..i had pulled out the little soap box and all...lol ok..well..keeping it simple this time..i'm always grateful for your replies..this little gem, i pulled straight out of my aching heart! and its good to know that its appreciated it came from a feeling of responsibility originally, then anger at the thought of an opportunity lost--knowing that he gets the opportunity that i dont, but wont take it...  but of course in the end, even as i want to be the evil one laughing at the sight of his "crumble"..i cant...i just cant..i feel it too much, and will run to scoop up his little skinny behind and cradle his broken heart...while we "lose" together...*sigh*......soap boxed again didnt i....lol sorry.. LARRY, VANDANA..so glad you stopped in to read me too! thank you much friends! hugs, g |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
And I know WHY you'll do that for him...because you're YOU, that's why. Just knowing how deep this one goes for you and coming back with more hugs. Love you, ~Me "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
DG, I understand your frustration, but unforunately your cousin may not learn of what you are saying until it is too late. Dawn |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Arriving late in the discussion, but had to let you know this is so good, the way you put out the feelings here, very well done. Sandra |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
TRICKY GIRL..thanks for the extra hugs DAWN..likely what you say is true.. but, maybe, just maybe he'll get it before then...i'm still hopeful.. SANDRA..its still fashionable to be a little late...lol thank you friend hugs, g |
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