Open Poetry #16 |
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Whisper softly the words |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298![]() |
I find that I exist better these days, when surrounded by solitude-no one's niceness to remind me that you are no more. No one to need, no one to miss... so why oh why this time did I not just say no, when I heard such a nice Hello... If I'd only looked I would have known it was coming, flags of reminisce had risen to half mast, but I stand now surprised, staring into the eye of this storm. Relentlessly battered by the rain; gale force winds uncover what I and the sands of time had so deftly buried. Hollow eyed specters point fingers and push me to and fro, as if the storm alone is not enough. I cannot slay you with forgetfulness, it is not in me to do so, but memories buried alive, rise again; their testimonial cries pierce the stillness of the aftermath. Without you, life is naught, but choiceless am I. Please my love, whisper softly the words into my ear, tell me if its me that is keeping you from leaving here. Kiss me gently and touch my eyelids closed if its time for you to go. |
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© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
The Lady of Shallot Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818USA |
Oh, my dear you have touched my heart with these words. -befriend yourself and you will never be alone- |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Kiss me gently and touch my eyelids closed if its time for you to go. very strong ending to a wonderfully emotional poem.... very nice work... nice indeed... |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I am nearly speechless after this one. An incredibly tender, sensitive write. Thank tou. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
A very nice and tender write JellyBean, I enjoyed ![]() Maree. |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, I love this one... even though it pierces with its pain. Death cannot conquer love... love endures beyond the parting... and most times, that's comforting... we feel their prescence guarding us. Other times, it's a raw wound oozing when you thought healing had finally begun... and it's losing them all over again. Excellent writing, dear friend... even if I read through tears. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Such a wonderful ability you have, lady. You can speak of the deepest emotions and say them in such a simple, yet, hard-hitting way that makes it look effortless. That's talent... ![]() |
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sunshinemist Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595Fl. sunshines early mist |
Jellybeans, this is a very sad, yet beautiful write filled with strong emotion. I loved the ending words. So soft and tenderly penned. ![]() smiles ~Marie~ |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* filled with so much emotion. This poem is sadly beautiful. So much so that I had to wipe a tear from my eye. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt poem as this one. Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
JellyBeans~ Gal ... this is wonderful~ 'If I'd only looked I would have known it was coming, flags of reminisce had risen to half mast, but I stand now surprised, staring into the eye of this storm.' I've run into that flag a time or two~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Please my love, whisper softly the words into my ear, tell me if its me that is keeping you from leaving here. Kiss me gently and touch my eyelids closed if its time for you to go. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now...this is beautiful!! Enjoyed. ~Nancy~ ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
An honest write of a fearful ending but wisdom prevails in the acceptance of eventual solitude. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Very thoughtful and wonderful rending of something we all feel some time or the other...you done this well my friend. jwesley |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
I thought when I wrote this that the subject was too overwritten, but hey you try arguing with *my* muse *smile*…so to read your comments, and find that my words touched you…well…sigh…thank you so much, Lady of Shallot, Cpat, midnightsun, and dark angel, am glad you enjoyed. suthern, you know what your ok on my work means to me….thank you lady Bal…a comment bestowing talent, from a writer as talented as you, makes me smile, thank you suthern, you know what your ok on my work means to me….thank you lady Bal…a comment bestowing talent, from a writer as talented as you, makes me smile, thank you sunshinemist, startime and marge, enchantress, Rswells, and jwesley thank you so much |
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