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Open Poetry #16

Heading to the Cold

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2001-10-09 01:49 PM

Open Form Sonnet

Little Joe Joe was getting the “No No”
From a sweet little Merry from across town,
Dressed in a too short dress of blue,
Little Joe Joe was getting frustrated with the sound
But there wasn’t anything he could do.
When he’d talk, away she’d walk
Till the cross town bus came rolling around.
Attention he was demanding, but was left there standing,
And there wasn’t anything he could do.
I t was just another cold shoulder.
One more heart ache along the way,
With a cold night to follow a cold day.
He went to the bar to drown his troubles,
All afternoon he sat there drinking doubles.

Gloom

sunshinemist
Senior Member

since 2001-09-29

Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist

1 posted 2001-10-09 03:05 PM

Gloom, Cute! I loved it! Not the drowning of your troubles though.

smiles ~Marie~

Keep the Faith

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

2 posted 2001-10-09 08:50 PM

Excellent! Internal rhyming is so awesome, and it didn't disrupt the flow at all. Wonderful write!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2001-10-09 09:21 PM

Ah, poor little Joe Joe, his life on hold,
Glad he had his sixpack of beer and they were cold!

Now this was cute! Loved this one.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

4 posted 2001-10-10 07:27 AM

Is there room at the bar there? Think I'll join you.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

5 posted 2001-10-10 08:15 AM

Thank you, sunshinemist
Not mine, Little Joe Joe’s,
I do well to finish a single glass.
Glad you liked these words.

Thank you, Masked Intruder,
Pleased you enjoy the internal rhyme,
It’s a technique that I’ve always enjoyed.

Thank you, Mysteria,
Yes, I believe everything was cold that day.

Thank you, Tracey,
That bar in never crowded,
Too many others in the area,
You are always welcome to pull up a stool.

Gloom

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