Open Poetry #16 |
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Wish it Were |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration ![]() |
Don't take this too seriously. A song inspired it (a very sad, melancholy song), and I felt like writing something stupid. But since I haven't been writing any poetry that's NOT stupid, I thought I'd torment you with that which was. Uhmm - no wonder I confuse myself all the time. ![]() Peace, C Wish it Were ©2001 C.G. Ward she sits upon the kitchen table feet twirling ‘round smiles and slides out on the ledge toes hanging down to catch the edge out of my eyes still she reads it wrong frowns at my sigh and shrugs inside to hold on tight to her own world then she coasts her laughter errantly, to crash the past she never sees when suddenly she ask of me ‘how about right - now?’ to hide the pain i look away your pictures from another day falling ‘round her pretty face like snow so i take a bow and craft a grin then hold her hand and now again i take the invitation to go but god i wish it were you holding me wish were you laughing, see i wish it were, still wish it were you your voice still haunts me endlessly and chases me so carelessly along the ridges of this road then mocks me while the tears are falling spurs me ‘til i hear you calling my name so take a right off of this highway chance the laughter of life’s friends kiss the girls, laugh out loud see me now, you’d be so proud as i challenge myself to another day looking away into the arms of a stranger but god i wish it were you holding me wish were you laughing, see i wish it were, still wish it were you why can’t it be you? [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 10-09-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
but god i wish it were you holding me wish were you laughing, see i wish it were, still wish it were you It's been a long time since I read something that I related to so much. Great write. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"challenge myself to another day looking away into the arms of a stranger" Oh Chris ... it's so wonderful to read a poem from you again! This is such a beautifully pensive piece, full of the emotional turmoil that so many can relate to. The flow is lovely and adds to the mystique and contemplative nature of this piece. Much enjoyed! ![]() Best wishes, /Kit |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You couldn't write stupid if you tried!! This is sweet and sad and good! I think it could work as a song to (humming now)... It's nice to see your tongue here..I mean your poetry.... LOL (and your tongue!) |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"but god i wish it were you holding me wish were you laughing, see i wish it were, still wish it were you why can’t it be you?" Christopher....... thank you for posting this ![]() ![]() |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm with Stupid. Yeah that's right...wish I had one of those STUPID t-shirts with an arrow (always pointing to NO ONE) This is more than lovely. Made me miss you, yanno. If this wasn't so good, I'd wish you hadn't done that. Sigh. |
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Sven![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
quote: I think that I know this song. . . perhaps too well. . . you know. . . I could hear a melody as I read this. . . that surprise you?? yeah, it surprised me too. . . but then again, I'm full of surprises. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Chris...You sure melted my heart with this one. I just love it!! Not even going to try to pick a few lines...love it all!! ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
but god i wish it were you holding me wish were you laughing, see i wish it were, still wish it were you I am sure many of us have had these same thoughts. A great read Christopher! Going to put a tune to it? You should! ![]() Maree ![]() |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
thank you all - I thinks it's stupid, but hey - if'n ya liked it, then more power to you! ![]() miss y'all too - hope everyone's doing well C ps - Maree - you DON'T want to hear me sing it! ![]() [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 10-09-2001).] |
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LoveLetters Junior Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 35State of Hope |
Your work comes to me recommended. How a memory torments us at times. This was excellent in my eyes. Love has many masks. I am but one of them. |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Chris? ![]() |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A song, inspiring a song...yes! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOW....You call this stupid my friend?? Man, reminds me why I've missed this place so much. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Chris, this is not even close to stupid! Damn.......can I relate to this. Well done, good to see your words again. *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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vandana![]()
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy ![]() |
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Apachecat906 Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217Michigan, USA |
she sits upon the kitchen table feet twirling ‘round smiles and slides out on the ledge toes hanging down to catch the edge out of my eyes still she reads it wrong frowns at my sigh and shrugs inside to hold on tight to her own world ====== I just want to say that I really like this poem/song, especially the first stanza. Although, I have to admit it is kindof scary for me, thinking I might be the girl on the table. Ah well, you've touched very powerful emotions on both sides of the story. Good job |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
You don't sound *that* bad when you sing...when the radio is up loud enough. ![]() And - regardless of the format, the expression of emotions is not stupid. There's a kernel of truth to everything, including inspiration - and saying that the poem is stupid, means you're saying you're stupid...and...wait - I was trying to say something nice... ah well. ![]() BOL dear |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Chris~ If this is stupid, I can't wait to read what you think is good! ![]() Hugs, ~Krista ![]() Your beautiful words & creativity allow me to connect with the same in myself. |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
I agree with everyone above - there's nothing stupid about this piece. It's captivating in its longing to a lost love. I think it's a beautiful piece of writing If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
chris this is so far from stupid, its not even funny! this was excellent. this was thought provoking, this was sincere and very lovely, it was sweet and full of longing, anything but stupid!!! wonderful writing. good to see you take care. amy ![]() "I could kiss you in |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Why am I seeing images of Tom Hanks as I read this? 'Stupid is, as stupid does.' Forrest Gump, of course. And we all know how many people fell in love with that character. (not to mention the real man) I really liked this stupid little memory trip. And I'm sure I've been that toe dangler before. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
I didn't want to let this go by without thanking everyone who (misguided as it may have been ![]() ![]() So, thank you. C ![]() |
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