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wpwpoet
Member

since 2001-07-25

Posts 99

0 posted 2001-07-27 08:05 AM

I accidently came across the website and loved it. Thanks for being here! After reading some of the poems and comments, I would be honered to have some of the wonderfull writers here critque some of my work. Please be honest and constructive. This is not my best but a personal favorite. thanx wpwpoet

Lucid Kiss

Arise through
soft lucid kiss
in sleep:
Awaken to a
spectral drift,
divine angelic
dream:
With my ghost,
Coalesce; thy
essential bliss:
In silence,
hearts endear
poetry:
Beyond loves
tranqiul cloud
serene:
Bestow, a tender
kiss, warm in
sleep:
Souls aspire to
dream, symbiotic
poetry...
CO.wpwpoet071701

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2001-07-27 08:30 AM

Welcome to Passions, wpw...As you get familiar with your "new home" you will find several forums for different venues and yes, we even have a true to form Critical Analysis Forum!

You are going to enjoy yourself! Please, check your e-mail for a special greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2001-07-27 01:20 PM

first of all, welcome!! I hope that you will indeed like it here. . .

this is a wonderful poem, I found myself reading it again just because. . . I like the flow of it reading it aloud, but you might want to take a look at the length of your lines on the page, so as to not draw the reader astray. . .

emotionally, I loved it. . . a love the thought of a "lucid kiss". . . just like a "lucid dream"

--------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

3 posted 2001-07-27 01:56 PM

Welcome to Passions. This is truely a place for sharing your soul. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Marilyn

cpalmer
Senior Member

since 2001-06-26

Posts 977
Phoenix, Az

4 posted 2001-07-27 01:59 PM

Welcome to passions!
I love this poem...has such emotion!
Glad you could join us in the pages of blue!
Cindi

God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears
Cpalmer

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

5 posted 2001-07-27 02:13 PM

gotta say I love this too, the only thing that throws me is the punctuation...but that's just me probably, I usually use minimum punctuation when a line break will serve just as well.....any way welcome, I enjoyed this a lot

wpwpoet
Member

since 2001-07-25

Posts 99

6 posted 2001-07-27 07:05 PM

thank you all for the comments. I will remember them for my next rewrite.
I usually use punctuation rather than line breaks because I have found that often people...forget to...stop...But I will try.
thank you all once again and I love the intelligence here.
peace love and understanding...wpwpoet

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-07-28 03:22 PM

Welcome to Poetry Land

nice to have you here with us.
your vocabulary and imagery in this is well done.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
jm

slow burn ...
light a candle for our love
So that we will always be
one on one in lovely love

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