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Open Poetry #15
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Iambe Leaves
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Iambe Leaves |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Iambe looked at me With those eyes Hardened and cold This time She shook her head In that negative wagging We all know And began to pack I walked out And stood in the garage Looking at nothing but Seeing her in everything Her tools were in boxes, Not hanging on the wall As usually they do Lined up neat Cleaned I reached for the largest box And pulled it over to Her truck, Hoisted it in the back And returned for another When she came out I had it all loaded And took the suitcase From her to add To the load She did look at me And the eyes had softened a bit So I dared a word Drifted a kiss Then watched her Climb in When the dust had settled And I was there alone With my ache I went in and started to pack Wouldn’t need a lot I told myself Lord knows I needed more than I had |
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| © Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
She cuts right to the core, doesn't she... I do believe I am feeling sorry for our fellow today.... |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
this is one written a year or so ago, isn't it, Ron? it certainly is a powerful one all the way through and the last line bites deeply |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Great story-telling imagery -- I think you are a natural in fiction writing, as this story attests... The last two lines especially bring home a message. -MVS "When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said." |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Yes, this is good. |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Wow, really powerful write Ron. You have created this scene well. ~Krista  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Oh my..."I needed more than I had"...this is a really powerful statement, and one to think on, my friend. Intense, and heartfelt, and as always, I enjoyed your words...  The road goes on forever, and the stories never end... |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Cpat Hair, wow indeed this is powerful!! Great write! Sauni @~~~>~~ |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~"Lambe Leaves",...the title even, does it for me. Although it's message bears such weight. I have to say that this piece remains in ways inside my chest. Well told. *Peace. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yep, It's all about that climb in. |
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