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Open Poetry #15
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Without A Trace
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Without A Trace |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
The silence is magnified a thousand times Amidst the pain and useless rhyme Neither takes away my sense of loss In solitude I bear the weight of my cross My heart cries out to the night No one is aware of my plight Footsteps echo down the hall As I lose myself within these walls Somehow I make it to the bed Where I’m overcome by a sense of dread I curl up tight in the dark Protecting myself from the sharks I quietly cry myself to sleep After hours where I wail and weep Tears stream effortlessly down my face As the world disappears without a trace All writing comes |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jennifer L. Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
The sadness is nearly smothering in it's completeness. You have conveyed it very well. Great poem. There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh LW, a touching portray of the crying out of the soul...very nice work, but hopefully not a self portrait...very gentle smile |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~YOU leave a trace of lovely wherever you go, know that. This one is painful. Although well expressed. Please take care. *Peace J. |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Nothing is as wrenching as silent torment...very well written! |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Aww, so sad. Well done though  Sauni Sauni @~~~>~~ |
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ThUnDeRkYsS Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727Wisconsin |
Sounds like you're in need of some of those hugs yourself dear  Very nice job {{{{{{{HUGZ}}}}}}}}Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
powerful written, I believe I have felt this pain myself even though maybe I really had no real reason to do so...no wait, it would have been for two very real reasons for you, tonight, I hope it is only memory or fiction, but your words make it almost too powerful for that |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
There is raw and unmistakable pain in this whether they convey some feelings of yours at this time or not.  I felt this one...pictured it. A very well expressed poem. |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
I felt this one very deeply...my heart almost broke with the words..I pray this is not in your heart, but I seem to think it might be. The wording is so real and very well done, you painted the portrait beautifully..I hope it is fiction? Hugs Cindi God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
you are never alone, sweetheart.... " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Hope this is not your life. Good write about a lonely person. Deb |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
oh yeah I can hear you.......heartfelt write my friend. Hope it isn't in real as it is a terrible feeling. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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