Open Poetry #15 |
My Pain |
pooh Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 12iowa usa |
As my mind inquires my heart introduces torment. My mind develops into a haze with every impression. The impressions races to and fro never again to be hushed. Distrurbance begins thoughts of fear and disperse Blaze by at lightening quickness generating misery. My body obeys with sadness to be whole. To enjoy peace with soul and mind Despite the mind, it fights to tell of great destress. Feeling of unsparing loneliness, looms in the dimness. To have no comprehension of what is to come. The realization of the pain I must feel. Weighs deeply upon this lonely heart. Apprehension of forsaken we really are. [This message has been edited by pooh (edited 07-11-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 pam clark - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Nice.. might want to check your spelling on a few words, but I like the composition and enjoyed the read... |
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Waseem Cheema Member
since 2001-03-16
Posts 369Pakistan |
Yah it is very good.....nice composition as said Capt. |
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pooh Junior Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 12iowa usa |
ty i hope i fixed it |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I don't know the pre-editing version was, but I can only spot that lightning is spelled 'lightening,' incorrectly. this is extremely well described |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Pooh, wow.....very cool off to find the next one! |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
Pooh, I really liked this...I will have to look for more of your writings Cindi |
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