navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » Wheels
Open Poetry #15
Post A Reply Post New Topic Wheels Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
thecraig
Member
since 2001-03-11
Posts 223


0 posted 2001-09-13 02:16 PM



Wheels & circles , places & dreams
promises rotating eternally between,
truth & honest guesses
breaching the gaps,
lies & deceit around to attack;

There's a Galaxy lady
that gallops her ride
unseen when she crosses the great divide;
Pathways & patterns she leaves with mist
a sure tell tale sign to those keen to persist;

Pouncing with passion
on the knowledge she fashions,
enthralled beyond rapture
with wisdom they capture
using simple methods
learning each way
finding locations that feel right to stay;

Others shall continue to try matching her pace
confronted with beauty
continuing her race;

Then they find to , she is hard work to catch.
Stopped on her trail they find their own patch.
The Galaxy Lady she rides day & night,
she's  swift two swift to slow open to sight  


--------------   ------------------   ------------------------------   ------------------  

© Copyright 2001 Craig Poole - All Rights Reserved
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
1 posted 2001-09-14 10:40 AM


Nice images in this however you start off with this piece reading really well. Then the flow of the piece goes a little whack and made it really distracting to read. I think maybe if you revise it with some meter, it'd be a total killer piece.

Great work. Thanks for the read.  

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » Wheels

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary