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Open Poetry #15
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SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396


0 posted 2001-09-10 11:20 PM


My eyes burn,
and I can wrap light strings around yours,
tangle up your sight instead of reading, in segments, or dinner.

I watch pages flit at my chest,
and it is the bronze that would do, every breath a humming storm,
every explanation held on it’s back appropriately.

Somehow I have blood, and lungs,
and I am selfish now, with scratches from the binding,
with breakage from all the wrapping and unwrapping of sound.

My body rests, at night,
and I am treading somewhere on a street, in a city.
Imagine the distance in string, imagine every starving hour, imagine why.

I will close and stack what’s left,
and I will follow shadows if they lead,
I will chase them if they curl themselves the way that reminds me to worry.


© Copyright 2001 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2001-09-11 01:22 AM


I doubt I understood a whole line of this the way that you intended but it sure sounded good coming off my tongue.  Sometimes that's enough.  
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

2 posted 2001-09-11 01:48 AM


Yes, this is interesting.  
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
3 posted 2001-09-12 06:01 AM


You conjure up the most amazing images in ones mind. Take care!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2001-09-12 08:00 AM


Wow, somehow this hits even harder in light of the events of yesterday. I don't understand the whole poem either, but it felt painful.
Peace
Sandra

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-09-12 06:38 PM


my friend. . . you do have that way of making people stop and consider your words. . .

well done. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

LarBear
Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138
Kingston, New York
6 posted 2001-09-24 08:21 AM


Humm,

I read this one three times. I have an idea to what it may mean, but that is my view.

Very interesting poem that makes one "Think"

LarBear

Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2001-09-24 11:29 AM


My eyes burn,
and I can wrap light strings around yours,
tangle up your sight instead of reading, in segments, or dinner
========

I really liked this first stanza, and also the end the best.  The strings make me think of how complicated and complex relationships can be, and then in the end you're left to put some order to it by "stack"ing what you can and going on from there.  I'm still thinking about the other lines, but I found  touches of pain and hope in your poem.  I'm sure to be far off from finding your intent, but I liked it anyway...A lot of complex emotion in your words. A Very interesting read!

DreamRomancer
Junior Member
since 2001-09-18
Posts 46
Ohio, United States
8 posted 2001-09-24 05:26 PM


I must admit that the depth of this poem is beyond my comprehension, but any good poet should choose to learn instead of running away.  If you have a free moment, I would enjoy the opportunity to hear what your motivation and meaning were behind these lines.  Thanks for the help!

With my pen I shall create,
With my mind I shall explore,
With my strength I shall endure,
With my poetry I shall have legacy.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2004-06-01 04:01 AM


wow
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