Open Poetry #15 |
Consummate |
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Consummate riding surf’s deafening crest feeling pain sulk in one’s breast knowing to be quietly insane else to never see you again restacking shelves of what- about while other selves leave to scout the beach, the shore, a cavalcade exploring misery that was made full moon has whitened night shadows cast forth in luna’s light yet you wordless creep ashore washing all away once more riding white the determined crest of all that once was then your best |
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© Copyright 2001 Lady In White - All Rights Reserved | |||
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I felt the ebb and flow of the waves as I read this. Well done, Lady! |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Lady in White, this is so soft and beautiful~ as VAS said above, one can feel the ebb an flow of the words... enjoyed! ~Tier |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
washing all away once more riding white the determined crest of all that once was then your best I think it gets pretty deep here (no pun intended *S*). This says something to all of us that have a little grey hair ( or would if we didn't have a little help) about riding old accomplishments. Am I looking too deep? I like the flow, too. Death comes not when we cease to breath, but when we cease to dream. [This message has been edited by The Rusty Knight (edited 09-05-2001).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
riding surf’s deafening crest feeling pain sulk in one’s breast knowing to be quietly insane else to never see you again ========================== full moon has whitened night shadows cast forth in luna’s light yet you wordless creep ashore washing all away once more riding white the determined crest of all that once was then your best ================================ Lady, Lady....so many times now... your words become mine........ I do so love the way you speak them superb poetess in white jm A man who asks a woman to lie for him, is a man who will lie to that woman. |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh, the foam is the last vestige of the wave is it not? Very nice write indeed, very gentle smile |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
LadyInWhite~ 'full moon has whitened night shadows cast forth in luna’s light yet you wordless creep ashore washing all away once more riding white the determined crest of all that once was then your best' Very effective~ Nice undulation~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Beautifully done... nicely flows with an ebb and tide...just as the meaning does... good stuff!!! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
There were so many lines of this that stood out for me but I think these were my favorite knowing to be quietly insane else to never see you again Then again, that last verse was incredible. Oh well, I don't have to decide, all of it is my favorite! |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This is really really good. Duncan already pointed out my favourite lines, so I won't repeat. Fantastic piece of writing If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Waft every crest upon your destined sea Embrace the Wave of Serendipity Lest its elusive arcane ecstasy Refurl with sail for all eternity... I like your version, Lady.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Lady-- You write with such ease of things so full. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
This was so well crafted - the parallel thoughts were choreographed beautifully. |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
Yes, this is very good. Hard to add anything to what's already been said. |
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Topheth Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297Texas |
As all as been said above - lovely. Perhaps a bit out of place, but I love this: "restacking shelves of what-about..." |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Excellent write, Lady...the images are fantastic...great poem! sp tried to write a letter |
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