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He Saw Her Face In A Cloud
| Open Poetry #15 |
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He Saw Her Face In A Cloud |
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Flutterwings Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 288Maine |
He Saw Her Face In A CloudShe promised that she would meet him and that nothing on earth could ever stop her. He lays a blanket under the Sycamore where they secretly meet and waits for her. The afternoon breeze kiss the falling leaves, as he dreams of one day not having to hide. He recollects; her touch, her exotic perfume, luscious kisses and her smile, while the afternoon sun warms his memories. A shadow of dark stratus hovers and in the far off distance a rumble announces an up-coming storm. The solemn sky weeps and the trees quiver with anticipation, still, he waits. The storm passes and the sky smiles once again. Sirens tell of a two car collision (no one lives) He waits and watches the cumulus dance in the heavens and he sees an angelic face in a billowy cloud getting nearer and nearer. "Is that you Sarah? I've been waiting for you." He often goes to the Sycamore and lays a blanket under the stars and waits for Sarah. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Madeleine Armstrong - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Flutterwings: What a very sad story...yet, I do believe...love is forever. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The solemn sky weeps and the trees quiver with anticipation, ======================== this is a bittersweet, but creative write... clever employ of imagery and theme... the references to the different types of clouds...and then tieing it all together with the title and ending. Well done poetess flutter  jm When your own emptiness is all thats getting through |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
FlutterWings~ Very nicely done. Emotionally involving the reader in the anticipation ... nice. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
bittersweet, indeed!! Very powerful! terribly sad extremely well written! |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Feels like a legend or folktale in its setup and storyline. I can hear Loreena McKennitt singing a story like this (albeit without the car collision). Touching write. -MVS "When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said." |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh Maggie, such a sad, sad story, but a loving one, and you drew me in waiting and yet knowing he would return to that tree. Thanks for a great read. ~If you have a choice to sit down or dance, I hope that you dance~ |
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Flutterwings Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 288Maine |
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! This is somewhat of a fantasy piece.... My Muse sometimes get carried away into the land of make believe..I so much appreciate all your kind and constructive comments. Love and peace ((~.~)) |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Flutterwings- Well, I'm so glad I caught this lovely cloud before it floated away.. Such a sad and touching story, and you've penned it beautifully.. hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
He waits and watches the cumulus dance in the heavens and he sees an angelic face in a billowy cloud getting nearer and nearer. =================== Such a sad sad touching story..... You have painted it beautifully.... Thank you ************************ It's only me.......only me |
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