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Open Poetry #15
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Alien Dancing Pants
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Alien Dancing Pants |
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Grubbymitts Junior Member
since 2001-08-30
Posts 37UK |
Alien Dancing Pants It was a day like no other, A day like none before, The day I discovered Alien Dancing Pants, In a pile upon my floor. They were purple with gold stitching, They felt silky and oh so smooth, And the moment I put them around my bits, My hips began to move. My feet suddenly had rhythm, I danced dances I did not know, With the washer I did the lambada, With the cooker I danced the tango, The magic in the pants was outstanding, My feet just would not stop, Yet when I grew tired of dancing, The pants just wouldn't come off! I tried to prise them off with a stick, But the pants just wouldn't budge, I tried every kind of lubricant, From grease to chocolate fudge. But the pants weren't having none, The alien underwear was here to stay, It told me it would take over the world, The pants we would all obey! I had to get the pants off, It was all that was on my mind, I knew I couldn't live another day, With Alien Dancing Pants around my behind, I tried to bribe them with money, I tortured them with hot coals, But the pants hung on to my particulars, And began to attack my soul. I had to take drastic measures, The pants were becoming too tight, So when I thought they weren't looking, I blew them up with dynamite. The pants somehow survived the onslaught, But they were injured and chose to retreat, Yet the pants still posed a threat, Those pants I would have to defeat. So I went at them with a baseball bat, Attacking the groin and stitching, After five minutes of wanton pummelling, The pants were crumpled and twitching. Then in my moment of exultation, As I was lost in a victory yell, The pants managed to escape me, Where they went I could not tell. Now mankind was in danger, The pants their defeat would avenge, I knew from my dastardly dealings with them, Those pants would be back for revenge! Mankind, alas, would not listen, My pleas to humanity were in vain, They thought me a babbling madman, I was bonkers, loopy, insane. Yet you may choose to laugh at me, And ignore my yells and rants, But one thing you must never underestimate, Is the evil of Alien Dancing Pants. They're off and they're coming for YOU! [This message has been edited by Grubbymitts (edited 08-30-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Simon Tinsley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hi...and Welcome to Passions!!! This was really cute and brought a smile to my face. I enjoyed, and will be looking for more as I keep my eye out for the dreaded dancing pants attack!  |
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ShannonM Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 104Drifitng |
I really like this! It made me laugh...a take-off of the old classic dancing shoe story. Good job! ShannonM |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
YO - Grubbymitts - I like your mode of insanity - It'll work around here for sure... Welcome to Passions, btw - and check your email for a special greeting...  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to the family. I'd say a lot more about your cute poem, but I'm hiding in the basement til these critters are caught!!  |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Very refreshingly different and pleasantly twisted. Welcome and good work. -MVS "It's all in the details -- the Big Picture always takes care of itself." |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
ROFL hahahahahaha!!i'm glad to hear your mind is clear, and the pants made their escape! those Cling-ons can be a pain in the butt when they're stuck on with velcro tape! butt i'm not scared of alien pants unless the panting is in my ear.... i wouldn't like THAT circumstance, no Cling-ons on me, my dear. ------------- hehe... great pome, welcome to the blue pages |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
I really got a kick out of this. Great humour. Hope you come back with more Tracey |
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Grubbymitts Junior Member
since 2001-08-30
Posts 37UK |
Thank you. I might have a couple more poems tucked away somewhere... |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
I imagine these pants probably have some shoes that go with them, which will hopefully kick the next poetic piece into production... well done, and Welcome to Passions! |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
hehehe  Too cute! I love it A big warm...  ~*~ WELCOME! ~*~ ...to you Great first post! ~Krista  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
What a kick in the pants! LOL at those alien pants, and glad I didn't see any on the floor on laundry day. A funny beginning, give us more. |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Welcome!!! Made me smile. Keep 'em comin'. Thanks. Melton |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
I got mine off by exposing them to eight hours of the "Best of Wayne Newton".Played backward on a LP record.Try it.Neat switch on the fable about the magic dancing shoes. paladin |
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Grubbymitts Junior Member
since 2001-08-30
Posts 37UK |
I'm glad there are poetry boards like this one. Some that you go on can be really up their own bums when it comes to poetry and really hate my stuff. Well, it's their loss (and I just wind them up even more by ignoring them and continue being a joyful, doggerel poet much to their chagrin!) Thanks for all your comments, do try to drop by the site sometime. |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Well done indeed! A stellar choice for a first post, I might add. I look forward to reading more of your work. Welcome! |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Grubbymitts A little static cling and a sheet of bounce up a leg or two would be enough to make anybody dance. Maybe that's what I should try, I might get a little rhythm then. I loved this one. Had me rolling. I broke a hip. Anyway, Welcome to Passions. Keep us laughing or crying. Garfield |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
Hey and Welcome, (I bet you haven't heard that yet! j/k) Anyway no need to worry about me I am pretty sure if I saw purple pants with gold stitching that I would very much hide! It's great to have ya around people can always deal with a little comedy with their tragedy! Great job! And no doubt I will see-ya around! ~Jen~  Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial) |
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The Rusty Knight Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414Texas |
We need to send these things to Washington. It might give those elected officals a different kind of exercise. *S* Death comes not when we cease to breath, but when we cease to dream. |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
This is absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the laugh and a big welcome to Passions. Dawn |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I can't wipe the grin off my face. Welcome. Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is terrific, thanks for the laugh Welcome! Maree |
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