Open Poetry #15 |
Tender Torn the Rose |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Tender Torn the Rose In the morning comes a gale in power push against the frail and tender torn the rose’s bloom has given up too soon too soon To dwell in opening day delight the strength must be like bluebird’s flight for petals lifted at sunset’s cross come morn are bowing with the loss So like flower a child went to growing strong as life was meant yet sometimes stern and cold rebuke takes the spirit from the youth Gossamer wings of climbing up follow now in natures jump and the bud that daylight found pulled its strength from rich earth ground In the morning cloak of pale dense damp air keeps winds from sail and tender torn the rose’s blossom that tried to grow in soil forgotten [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 08-22-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jezziekaka Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 58where the trees touch the sky |
Martie~ That brought tears to my eyes. Amazing Beautiful poem! Most of your Poems make tears come to my Moms eyes too! (My mom is SEA) Jezzika be dangerous, unpredictable, and make a lot of noise! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
So like flower a child went to growing strong as life was meant yet sometimes stern and cold rebuke takes the spirit from the youth ******************************** You have such a beautiful way of expressing and sharing that it is such an honer to be able to call you friend and read such superb poetry. I have said it before but not in awhile since I have been gone so much but I wanna grow up to be just like you. Well, in the talent area anyway......LOL...some things may not fit if I were exactly like you. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
beautifully woven, there are parts of this that put me in mind of the trilogy I'm almost finished reading, however it's a tragic, tragic childhood that a boy miraculously survived through, and now lives a triumphant life as a man and father I think it's the line about the forgotten soil that did it. Powerful piece, Martie! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautifully expressed, Martie! An extra special treat with the rhymes! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
it's very hard to write about roses, but you did it so originally! |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Beautifully written Martie, I enjoy reading your poems. Throw your heart out in front of you |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Martie....lovely...and so delicate, as always. Bob |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Gossamer wings of climbing up follow now in natures jump and the bud that daylight found pulled its strength from rich earth ground In the morning cloak of pale densely air keeps winds from sail and tender torn the rose’s blossom that tried to grow in soil forgotten ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am always drawn to poems written of roses and such. This one speaks to the heart, with much tenderness and beauty. Deb |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
remember the sing along with the bouncing ball cartoons that used to be on... thats what I think of when I read your rhyming poems... they have that PERFECT melody and cadence... For some one whose claim to fame is free verse and for someone who tells me she not comfortable with rhyme... you sure do DO IT TO IT!!! YOU ROCK me |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very lovely, Martie. And touching. Sandra |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is so beautiful...something hit me today, too, a yearn for that which we can find in words when we don't see it before our eyes... this is wonderful, Martie...and one of your best....put it aside for the day you publish....for that is where this one belongs.... |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Well you wouldn't believe who's taking kare of our roses... THE DEER... So it new fences. Nice to see you again. You should be ableto get me on the yahoo address now but because I took over 4 mos. they tossed out all my mail... your stuff smells of roses as usual. Lucky |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
I like!! (((hugs))) my dear friend Michael Michael Auguste~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh Martie! This truly is one of your "golden poems", and I have to say that it is right up there with my favorites. Such a soft rhythm to this, so natural, and perfect. Sunshine is right, this is for a book for sure. This was simply elegant! ~*Homepage*~ http://www.mysteria-poetry.cityslide.com/contents/contents.cfm/722155 |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
"that tried to grow in soil forgotten" love this line at first it felt like the thorn that catches as you pull away the blossom, but then . . . in my experience, in soil fogotten, many beautiful things grow. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Friends--thank you all for your lovely replies. As JM mentioned, I am not comfortable with rhyme..clumsy is how I feel and stilted, but I like to get out of my comfort zone sometimes...its good for the soul, ya know. Krawdad, you're right. There are many beautiful things that grow in forgotton ground...thanks for reminding me. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Martie- Well, comfortable with rhyme or not, you've penned this beautifully! I'm always touched by your poetry, and this is no exception. Love it! hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Somehow this skipped my notice~ Doesn't happen often ... and I'm so pleased to have found it~ Beautiful, dear poetess~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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ramrog Member
since 2001-08-22
Posts 50 |
this expression is beautiful. I enjoyed it very much. |
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