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Open Poetry #15
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Skyclad Dance
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Skyclad Dance |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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before you all--bare, exposed... A drape of cloth in covering and all the warmth such comfort brings. I stitch upon dark robe of me distraction of embroidery. and so a citrine, I did place in center of a velvet street-- the petals plush, point straight to me. Golden wheat of amber eye... upon my robe, the daisies cried. skyclad dance of naked pain almond dew of tears uncried-- upon my robe? A river dried, gulleys left upon my weep... white-gloved ladies serving tea. Hot-house hearts of striate skin-- All I am--without, within... in strobe of chance to let you in... a yearn unfurling, whispered shout... next to the sage I planted when I did not fear knowledge as sin nor wisdom as the fruit of bliss--- glimpse, preceded by a hiss. Seasons change with rise of fist, as memories dazzle in the mist... From sorrow grows the roots of rage as Oaken leaves gasp words of mage in silent sway beneath the moss I give back all the things I bought tracing dark of silhouette and rock to rhythm still unmet. a petal in first fuzz of leaf? Or tilt your nose in sniff of air scent of jasmine--knowing--there? To wonder at the silver trail still glistening from absent snail? At times I think my heart will burst-- beauty-full--spring--rebirth-- I know that love lives on in me as sure as sun sprouts moistened seed. I know the tide returns again erasing footsteps of my pain. In search of that eternal kiss... finding wonder in the grasp of a newborn's trusting clasp. A tiny curl of honest hand, around my thumb, a reprimand-- of all the faith I lacked before. To think that I once dreamed of more... [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 08-19-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Serenity~ Wow!!! This is wonderful! It flows well and the imagery is so vivid. You never cease to impress me with your talent sweet poetess  These are my favourite lines:a petal in first fuzz of leaf? Or tilt your nose in sniff of air scent of jasmine--knowing--there? To wonder at the silver trail still glistening from absent snail? At times I think my heart will burst-- beauty-full--spring--rebirth-- I know that love lives on in me as sure as sun sprouts moistened seed. I know the tide returns again erasing footsteps of my pain. Beautiful! Hugs,  ~Krista [This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 08-19-2001).] |
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poetsguild Member
since 2001-08-12
Posts 85Florida |
Extremely well-written, serenity. The couplets do not seem forced, the imagery is vivid, and the message is one of hope and love and gratitude. A deeply spiritual poem without emphasis on deity. Very refreshing. Who could ask for a more reverent work to read on a Sunday morning? Thank you. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
'Sun-drops' in a flood of rain, skyclad dance of naked pain almond dew of tears uncried-- upon my robe? A river dried, gulleys left upon my weep... white-gloved ladies serving tea. Hot-house hearts of striate skin-- All I am--without, within... =================================  loudlyWonderful write Sen, the imagery just amazing well done ~HUGS~ Tracie Love is the life of the soul... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
From sorrow grows the roots of rage as Oaken leaves gasp words of mage in silent sway beneath the moss I give back all the things I bought tracing dark of silhouette and rock to rhythm still unmet. Have you never stopped to reach a petal in first fuzz of leaf? Or tilt your nose in sniff of air scent of jasmine--knowing--there? To wonder at the silver trail still glistening from absent snail? At times I think my heart will burst-- beauty-full--spring--rebirth-- I know that love lives on in me as sure as sun sprouts moistened seed. I know the tide returns again erasing footsteps of my pain. I'm spending every day like this. In search of that eternal kiss... finding wonder in the grasp of a newborn's trusting clasp. A tiny curl of honest hand, around my thumb, a reprimand-- of all the faith I lacked before. To think that I once dreamed of more... ========================================= *shaking me head in awe at you* this is more profound than I will have words for... This is exceptional in every way... from conception to completion, in its inspire and its intend. With every write your poetry is taken to the next level ... your pen knows no boundries, your rhyme's-- no restrictions. In the exploration and discoveries you will find yourself and define yourself... I am just grateful I get to witness it. love you K,  meFeels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahh, you are so good...very gentle smile |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh my, I do love your writing. This stanza is particular, not that it is easy to specify- "I'm spending every day like this. In search of that eternal kiss... finding wonder in the grasp of a newborn's trusting clasp. A tiny curl of honest hand, around my thumb, a reprimand-- of all the faith I lacked before. To think that I once dreamed of more..." Awesome Sandra |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
a great many images here and a melancholy feel, you made me look up and learn two words, too, good for you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
wonderful!!! such strong images and thought... truly a pleasure to read....truly a pleasure to ponder... good stuff kid... but I expect that from you.. |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
One of your best, my dear...one of your finest... |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
quote: This is excellent. The images in here are so vivid....well done!  |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
read it again. . . and again. . . with a frenzied pace. . . with a slower pace. . . and then, just listen. . . that's how this made me feel . . . beautiful. . . just beautiful. .. ---------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
beautifully written serenity.. enjoyed..~Victoria~ |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
When you write, you're right! Wonderful piece, just wonderful ... |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'Have you never stopped to reach a petal in first fuzz of leaf? Or tilt your nose in sniff of air scent of jasmine--knowing--there? To wonder at the silver trail still glistening from absent snail? At times I think my heart will burst-- beauty-full--spring--rebirth-- I know that love lives on in me as sure as sun sprouts moistened seed. I know the tide returns again erasing footsteps of my pain.' There are so many things about this that are just fantastic...the rhyme is flawless and the imagery just blows me away...simply excellent work, serenity...definitely one of the best I've read lately...I love it! sp  can I see my world without you in it? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Krista---thank you for being so kind to me...I am home now and am still catching up on all the wonderful e mails and well wishes. Everyone has been amazing...and I have not forgotten--don't we have a poem to write together? poetsguild--thank you for your generous praise and your careful reading...a deity was not mentioned by name deliberately, and I thank you for noticing. I don't believe I've yet welcomed you to passions, so let me say, "welcome" now, and I look forward to reading your work!HEY TRACIE--so glad to have you back I'm now doing my "happy screen dance"--fully clothed though...grin...oh..well PARTIALLY clothed?  Thanks so much, my friend!JM---You are just such a wonderful dose of self esteem, that I wish I could bottle you and sell you on e bay! You've done so much for my confidence that I don't know how I can ever thank you. You have helped to make Passions my home. I love you, m'twin. Logan...You are a joy of friendship and warmth lovie! Thanks so much for being my "strength" when I so needed it. HUGS. Sandra--Forgive me for missing your birthday--I've missed so much here, but mostly I missed my friends. Thank you for being. Happy Birthday! Virginia...normally I try to write simply and direct...I hope my wordiness was not a distraction to you. I'm glad you enjoyed especially, as I know that your faith is the core of your fortitude. Thank you. CH---Well, I'm so flattered that you have "great expectations" of me...but I'll be experimenting again and will probably write something that makes you say "HUH?" lol...but thank you, friend. Your encouragement means much to me. Deca--As always, I am grateful for your kind generosity and your friendship. Hugs to you. Elizabeth--you zeroed in on the part that I personally liked. blush...something about holding a tiny baby simplifies the matter of faith. It's a sacred trust, is it not? Thank you.Victoria...it's lovely to hear from you, especially knowing that you too have been grieving the loss of a special person. Hugs to you, and thank you for remembering me. Interloper...You are another whose writing intrigues me. I don't know if you "duet"--and I'm never sure who I can or cannot write with, but would love to give it a shot. Whaddya say? sp--Again I'm flattered, as I love your work and don't get a chance to read nearly as much as I'd like. But I think I will be "home" for awhile, so hopefully I can rectify that. Thank you. And thanks to all my friends for your patience, as I have been selfishly posting and not reading as much as I normally have. (The boyfriend has a slow laptop...sound like more fun than it is.  )But you all have my eternal gratitude. Hugs to all. Gawd, I love this place!!!! |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
We Love you to Sen  Love is the life of the soul... |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this is fantastic, Serenity, in imagery and form. You have outdone yourself with this one. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ah...came back to thank you Tracie, and Kathleen---AND NOT TO MENTION SVEN---  --I'm sorry Sven, it was just a long list, m'friend, not an intended slight. It always gratifies me to know that you've something of mine. THANK YOU.  |
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