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Open Poetry #15
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There is no Forgive
| Open Poetry #15 |
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There is no Forgive |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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There is no Forgive By a brook I knelt to drink Against a tree sat to think Watched the break of early dawn Bathed in mist a pea soup morn. Murky sun lit up the day Lit a garden of dismay The brook I drank had changed its gown The tree I leaned a stump of brown. The sky was bogged in heavy hue A mix of smog, mud colored through Making heavy air of breath Had the dirty taste of death. Still I sat the stump to think Spit the waters of my drink Watched the bleak of early dawn Shroud me with the early morn Raised my hands as if to speak But knew there was no other cheek. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Kind of makes you want to run. But to where? "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A bitter write...expressed so well, it makes one heave a solemn sigh... tell Randy to go breathe on his own, we need to find a butterfly somewhere... but if we didn't have this from you...we wouldn't appreciate your opposite tomorrow... so I am content to read you, no matter what.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Indeed, if we dont learn and make a turn there will be a point of no return and no forgive... Mother Nature will run out of cheeks to turn. You always give us both views in your wisdom rhymes... You take us to Eden or to dragon hell Either way we learn from you and are treated to rhyme divine and imagery of truth. I've always enjoyed the view thru your minds eye. and your winkiewinkies as well  *L*thank you for both  Feels like Im dancing with truth and wisdom |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
well-written heaviness |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
RSWells, But to where? Thank you for the read. Sunshine, You are my sunshine. *L* JM, I saw you with your butterfly friends in my Email. And I have fallen in love all over again. Blinky Blinky Winkiewinkie. Stinky |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
VAS, Thank you heavily. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Seymour, the last line has really stings. Words drenched in sadness, I hope it soon passes. Thanks for sharing. "Here I am in prison,here I am with a ball and chain There is whiskey in the jar-o" Traditional irish song. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Seymour~ In a moment of despair Earth Mother cries You caught her tears at soft sunrise Shared the sorrow and in a blink Quilled with pen to make us think In the rise of early morn we are knowledged of forewarn *You are so versatile in your craft~ Thank you for this piece. *Hugs* and much love~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Sy, I caught it on the second read: I really like the way each stanza compounds the anger and bitterness, transforming a potentially beautiful morning in nature into a warped and jaded focus on negativity because of the bruised frame-of-mind. And between the title and the last line, the point is expressed emphatically. Very well crafted and rather subtle, in its own right... -MVS "If you think you know it all, you have a lot to learn." |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Brian, It will pass in the blink of an eye. Thank you. Marge, Simple subtle is some times hard to recognize But I knew you would. Hugs and kisses. Sy Mark, Thank you for catching the simple subtle of this poem. Most times I am only seen as a butterfly. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
the emotion and the relation to nature hit me in a good place. I really got a lot out of this one. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy: You have deftly shown how mood can color everything around you...and done it so well. Wishing the smog to blow away! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Thank you Irish Martie, I only wish I could. *L* |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Seems this way sometimes...James |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
James, I only wish it was seems. Thanks for th e read. |
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pure_innocence Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 80Colorado, US |
Nice work, depressing, but wonderfully put. Many of us dream of that big elm onto of the grassy hill, butterflys fluttering, clear blue skies, clean fresh air, though few will work toward or put in any effort for such a reality. You wrote the truth and wrote it well. Thanks for sharing, I hope to read more of your work. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Pure, Thank you so much for stopping to read my work. What you say is true. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow Sy, just wow, this hurts so beautifully~ Melissa~ |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Yes, I have to agree with all of the above, and a solid WOW from me as well. Be happy Sandra |
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