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Open Poetry #15
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citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade

0 posted 2001-08-13 07:01 PM


For Ms Van Krieken
--

On the table's
edge she played solitaire,
with plastic pills, a paper cup
and safety pins all tucked
snugly in her over night bag.
From a sleepy grin,
her eyes trucked
the contour of his flesh
in slumber at her feet.
Such an innocent deviant
It's funny the things she
gave him over the internet.  

A black Jack cradled ten hearts;
all blushing rouge. The vodka glass
pressed against her lips, she did think
if only people were this pure or clear,
not murky jars of whiskey he dived into.
"I have my prescriptions," she sighed
everyone needs an anecdote to love.

She lit up an angel,
breaking the silence,
of traffic head lights.
"We are flowers of the dawn,"
this poetry she spoke only
in rare moments of reflection.  
"We are not perfect"
his sleep murmured. "No,
but we make complete each other
"
she sung, swathing him
in her naked breast, aglow
in a drive-by love scene.

------

12/08/01
"she had all the advantages of magic
no one could deny"
(cut out shapes)

" We embrace during the journey
such a short ride in a borrowed car
the time is ripe for getting things right
at a very reminiscent temperature"
(talk to the body)

magazine




shadows flicker sweet end tame
dancing like crazy mourners" magazine



[This message has been edited by citizenx (edited 08-13-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 citizenx - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-08-13 07:27 PM


the imagery in this is both unique and masterfully penned...
the detail and the mood you've created here is a mix of morose and intense...
very clever poetic manipulation of the scene and the charaters.
well done CX
jm

We're all feeding our lonely...like it might go away...
Like the doors to Heaven would swing open...
If we could just find the right words to say

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
2 posted 2001-08-13 07:35 PM


have you been reading my emails .... geeesh? lol...

great write here, liked this VERY much!  

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
3 posted 2001-08-14 09:52 AM



Not dark, but harboring in the grays of life, for there are grays....and I get this eerie feel of a television's blue-light flicker....

well done Sir....something to read off the page of a novel....

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-08-14 09:58 AM


very nice... good imagery with clever and interesting word play pulling it together nicely... I agree..a page to be read out of a novel..or a book of poetry created by someone with your touch.

a pleasure

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-08-14 01:04 PM


CitizenX~
I give you 'nothing less' than accolades for this write~
Most refreshing to see such unique thoughts~

The title beckoned me to explore ... I'm glad I did~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                   noles1@totcon.com            

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2001-08-14 01:31 PM


This is so sad...a haunting portrayal with a bit too much mirror for my own comfort.

"I have my prescriptions..."

Hmmm....a poor substitute and a bit of false heaven which is actually hell.

Applause to you my friend. You accomplish what I merely strive for.

citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade
7 posted 2001-08-15 01:28 PM


JAN, I am speechless, I am looking around to see which poet these wonderful comments are aimed at, I can't believe it is moi. THank you very kindly.

Doreen, my secret's out, your e-mails have provided with a source of entertainment, you would like you were quiet by your poetry. Never knew you were such a wild child until I read your mail. Keep sending them I promise not to show them to anyone else.
Thanks for your very kind words
Sidenote: The auction house for Doreen's e-mails is now open.

Lady In White, that and the computer screen are my night lights. I have never been able to write about love in a completely joyous sense, when I feel my words lack something.
Yes there are grays and within the grays there are colours, alot of hope I believe.
Thank you.

Cpat Hair, Thank you very kindly for your comments and reply.

Marge, thanks.

Serene, I guess it is sad, I don't know, it feels like the most honest and romantic thing I have ever written. Hope in the darkness, personally that is what I see.  




Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

8 posted 2001-08-16 12:37 PM


Yes Sir, you have some very interesting friends.
    
  

"As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it."     Wendell Berry


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