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Open Poetry #15
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The drive-by love scene
| Open Poetry #15 |
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The drive-by love scene |
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citizenx Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189motorcade |
For Ms Van Krieken -- On the table's edge she played solitaire, with plastic pills, a paper cup and safety pins all tucked snugly in her over night bag. From a sleepy grin, her eyes trucked the contour of his flesh in slumber at her feet. Such an innocent deviant It's funny the things she gave him over the internet. A black Jack cradled ten hearts; all blushing rouge. The vodka glass pressed against her lips, she did think if only people were this pure or clear, not murky jars of whiskey he dived into. "I have my prescriptions," she sighed everyone needs an anecdote to love. She lit up an angel, breaking the silence, of traffic head lights. "We are flowers of the dawn," this poetry she spoke only in rare moments of reflection. "We are not perfect" his sleep murmured. "No, but we make complete each other" she sung, swathing him in her naked breast, aglow in a drive-by love scene. ------ 12/08/01 "she had all the advantages of magic no one could deny" (cut out shapes) " We embrace during the journey such a short ride in a borrowed car the time is ripe for getting things right at a very reminiscent temperature" (talk to the body) magazine shadows flicker sweet end tame dancing like crazy mourners" magazine [This message has been edited by citizenx (edited 08-13-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 citizenx - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the imagery in this is both unique and masterfully penned... the detail and the mood you've created here is a mix of morose and intense... very clever poetic manipulation of the scene and the charaters. well done CX jm We're all feeding our lonely...like it might go away... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
have you been reading my emails .... geeesh? lol... great write here, liked this VERY much!  |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Not dark, but harboring in the grays of life, for there are grays....and I get this eerie feel of a television's blue-light flicker.... well done Sir....something to read off the page of a novel.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nice... good imagery with clever and interesting word play pulling it together nicely... I agree..a page to be read out of a novel..or a book of poetry created by someone with your touch. a pleasure |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
CitizenX~ I give you 'nothing less' than accolades for this write~ Most refreshing to see such unique thoughts~ The title beckoned me to explore ... I'm glad I did~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so sad...a haunting portrayal with a bit too much mirror for my own comfort. "I have my prescriptions..." Hmmm....a poor substitute and a bit of false heaven which is actually hell. Applause to you my friend. You accomplish what I merely strive for. |
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citizenx Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189motorcade |
JAN, I am speechless, I am looking around to see which poet these wonderful comments are aimed at, I can't believe it is moi. THank you very kindly. Doreen, my secret's out, your e-mails have provided with a source of entertainment, you would like you were quiet by your poetry. Never knew you were such a wild child until I read your mail. Keep sending them I promise not to show them to anyone else. Thanks for your very kind words Sidenote: The auction house for Doreen's e-mails is now open. Lady In White, that and the computer screen are my night lights. I have never been able to write about love in a completely joyous sense, when I feel my words lack something. Yes there are grays and within the grays there are colours, alot of hope I believe. Thank you. Cpat Hair, Thank you very kindly for your comments and reply. Marge, thanks. Serene, I guess it is sad, I don't know, it feels like the most honest and romantic thing I have ever written. Hope in the darkness, personally that is what I see. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Yes Sir, you have some very interesting friends. "As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it." Wendell Berry |
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