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Open Poetry #15
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EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

0 posted 2001-08-13 08:01 AM



Consciousness Interrupted


Flashes fired, crimson and grey
Hasten through painful release
Shattered soul, lifeless display
Folded memories, lost in crease

Awakened trances, mystic spell
Salient visions, thoughts erupted
Escape on Eden, no rapturous yell
Just consciousness, interrupted!

Brought to bear for one last test
Tiresome journey, endless display
Forbidden time, seeking rest
Lost embrace, in bright red clay

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison


© Copyright 2001 E.T. Meehan - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2001-08-13 08:27 AM


Beautifully crafted EagleOne ... wonderful phrasing from the title through to the end. Excellent cadence and rhyme ... you've left me with much to ponder in this piece, very well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
2 posted 2001-08-13 08:38 AM


Kit ~ Thank you my friend, I value and appreciate your comments.   I feel it is good to give the reader something to ponder, as is the case with life, there is always much to think about! You take care!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison


shadow of the fall
Member
since 2001-08-13
Posts 83
Indiana
3 posted 2001-08-13 04:43 PM


this is a journey into complete emotion, leaving the reader with much to think about.
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-08-13 04:51 PM


EagleOne~
Greatly enjoyed the rhyme scheme~

AND ...
'Folded memories'
LOVE that thought~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                   noles1@totcon.com            

maeve
Member
since 2001-08-01
Posts 139
In the Outback
5 posted 2001-08-13 05:06 PM


Awakened trances, mystic spell
Salient visions, thoughts erupted
Escape on Eden, no rapturous yell
Just consciousness, interrupted!

Definitely something to ponder Eagle.

Maeve

Take me home to Erin's shores,
to where my heart roams free.

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2001-08-13 09:50 PM


Eagle my friend...another true sign of the poet living and breathing within you...giving us something to ponder..the best poetry is the poetry that not only makes us feel...but makes us think.  
Love and hugs to you sweet poet

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
7 posted 2001-08-13 11:28 PM


Beauty in every line my friend...but then I expect no less from you
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-08-13 11:38 PM


Excellent vocabulary and phrasing here Eagle,
youve used quite a few unique and clever  words and the imagery is vivid and powerful
very cool write...cool title too
once again I say..well done POET sir  

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
9 posted 2001-08-14 07:24 AM


Yes, very well written. Agree with all the above. It flows to the imagination and thought. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Regina

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
10 posted 2001-08-14 05:10 PM


I apologise for the group reply but I have to do this from work as I’m having problems with my machine at home.   I truly appreciate all your comments and thank you for taking the time to make them. It’s good to know that you not only liked this but that you found something in it to make you think, that is a good thing I feel, take care all!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison


Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
11 posted 2001-08-15 04:24 AM


Whoa, Eddie, you just said a mouthful!
As I reread I see more to make me pause.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life.     a brand

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
12 posted 2001-08-15 06:22 AM


Love the last line my friend, indeed a masterful piece...well written
~HUGS~ Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
13 posted 2001-08-16 08:28 AM


Thank you! Each and every one of you, for you time, your thoughts...thanks. Take care!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison


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