(my very first try at Haiku...is it one??)

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jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2001-08-12 11:22 AM

Veils

Footprints bend the grass
a soul passing by unseen -
summer wind saw it .

w. james beard, jr.
(c) August 2001

Note: Attempted this by reading others and see some with titles and others without. Do Haikus normally have or not have titles....

Is this a Haiku??? If not, why??

Thanks much...

jwesley
[This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 08-12-2001).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-08-12 11:42 AM

5-7-5 syllables...
Nature theme and subject...
yeppers...tis a Haiku ...
and I dont think they have to be titled...
In the poetry workshop of Nans, in back pages there are several lessons on Haiku, Senryu and Tankas.
and be forewarned...these lil gems can be addicting

well done jw

I know no one is to blame
In time youll feel strength when you call my name
I know Ill never hold you again
And I know Ill never be the same
VH

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2001-08-12 12:00 PM

JWesley~
Delightful !
I like mine titled ... but that's my personal taste !

Your imagery is quietly portrayed~
Lovely ... and as JanetMarie pointed out ...
they can be, and often are, addicting ~
But sooooooooo much fun.

So nice to see the poetic s t r e t c h !
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

paladin

Senior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.

3 posted 2001-08-12 12:02 PM

Very good for your first try.I think of haiku as poetic snap shots.I sometimes use them as seeds for longer poems.I also group them together in sort of an album and call them themes.I have posted two such albums called "Sea themes" and "Sky themes.I would be honored if you read them and commented on them.

paladin

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

4 posted 2001-08-12 12:23 PM

It certainly qualifies... Haiku are really fun - Write some more for us jw..

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

5 posted 2001-08-12 12:32 PM

I, Melissa Honeybee, do testify that I am a proud addict of Haikus, senryus and tankas

jw, this is a wonderful haiku with awesome imagery - especially the first two lines!

I love it, it's hard to believe that this is your first!?! Well, my library must have it

I, also, title my haikus - it gives it more personality and flair.
Do share more with us!~

Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 08-12-2001).]

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

6 posted 2001-08-12 12:36 PM

Wonderful! Thank you all for your comments, help, encouragement (as always) and I certainly will view Nan's pages. Been wanting to try this for a long time (and this may be the only one that'll ever qualify) but I'm ENGLISH DYSLEXIC and trying to write "structured" scares me, although now you may be inundated with attempts at Haiku! (just kidding...)

Paladin...certainly will see if I can find them...

jwesley

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

7 posted 2001-08-12 12:37 PM

The poem is beautiful. I applaud your wonderful accomplishment. I've never done one so that strikes one up for me to do. I'll read more of yours first. Great Job!

Sincerely,
Regina

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

8 posted 2001-08-12 02:18 PM

Okay...gave it a title because I, too, prefer titles.

jwesley

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