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Open Poetry #15
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Where are the women....
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Where are the women.... |
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citizenx Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189motorcade |
Where are the women when they are not in the kitchens? Brewing babies in their apron tresses, as the man in the corner counts his nursery quarters. The string of parturition unravels her hair, tangling in her glacial eyes. She looks quiet a beautiful mess, motherhood has not stolen her tenure, even if marriage is a draining sentence. The tassel of her corset breaks in his brutish tug, without their support her waist line slides into gravity's grimace. Where are the women, she wonders, When they are not in the bedrooms? Making or dressing children, Child birth is a labour. still watching them glow makes it all worth while. Her morning coffee is thawing on the work top, the chores are keep stacking up for once she does not care. today this woman is her own, Ask not where she belongs. shadows flicker sweet end tame dancing like crazy mourners" magazine [This message has been edited by citizenx (edited 08-10-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 citizenx - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
I think I like one line, go to the next, it's better, the next, better yet... and spellbinding in its accuracy and use of fluid language that overtakes one's imagination and offers up much to imagery... Very Well Done! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
A man after my own heart...and funny, I've been on both sides of that story--did the work thing and the housewife thing--and in retrospect? I always thought I was miserable in both situations..lol...why is we don't know when we are happy, eh? HUGS, citizen, a thoughtful write from you! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The tassel of her corset breaks in his brutish tug, without their support her waist line slides into gravity's grimace. Where are the women, she wonders, When they are not in the bedrooms? Making or dressing children, Child birth is a labour. still watching them glow makes it all worth while. ==================================== what a very cool write... what a very unique perspective clever employ of imagery to create the mood of the woman in question. interesting topic in which to find inspiration. well done poet CX  jm I know no one is to blame |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Excellent! Corinne |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
citizenx--I know just what you mean...this is very well written! |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
well done. . . I liked the progression from then to now. . . and the ending was strong and tight. . . great job and excellent thoughts. . . -------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. [This message has been edited by Sven (edited 08-11-2001).] |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
A really terrific read. I too, love the progression. Very striking and descriptive. The ending was perfect! Sincerely, Regina |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Really good poem.(boring reply-sorry) Sandra |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
loved these lines: "for once she does not care. today this woman is her own, Ask not where she belongs." bravo...helen |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Well written with much strength and understanding. |
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Constance Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393Ohio |
this is wonderful! very original and compelling read. rip it to shreds? can't do it--it's just good! |
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citizenx Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189motorcade |
Lady in White, I guess I have some feminine intuition after all, it is probably my one saving grace. LOL Your words and comments mean so much to me, thank you. Serene, hugs. Keep looking for that happiness, trust me it is out there. Thanks for your reply. Jan Marie, I guess it is some thing largely ignored or taken for granted, the role of women in society, as homemakers in particular. It is not an easy job. As I start off in adult life I can now see the sacrifices my mother has made over the years. Thank you. Corinne, now there is a word I like. LOL. Thank you. Martie, I am so glad that people can relate to this, is that not the greatest compliment or reward a poet can hope for? Thank you. Sven, it is funny I had not noticed a progression or even consciously intended for there to be one, but I can see it now. I am not the careful planning poet I seem to be. LOL nope I just kind of see what happens, and pray it works. Thank you kindly sir. Regina, wow, I am speechless. Thanks. Sandra, I forgive you this once. LOL, seriously, don't worry I think I invented the boring reply lol. All that counts is that you read the poem and took the time to give your thoughts. And I thank you sincerely for that. Helen, I was kind of worried about how to end it, I wanted to keep the tone of the poem and still have a happy ending. Thanks. Duncan, thank you. Constance, thank you for your kindness. shadows flicker sweet end tame |
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