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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2001-08-10 08:18 AM

Rewrite:

Silence

Each night I beat
Upon deaths door
The beats resound
But nothing more

She was my church
My spire my shrine
God took back
What I took as mine.

My fleur-de-lis
My joie-de-vivre
My goal my soul
The heart of me

I call her name
It is the same
Only silence
Without reclaim

Only echoes’
Soar encore
My knocks upon
The astral door

I sail upon
A sea of grays
Inconsolable
Counting days.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-08-10 08:25 AM

I call her name
It is the same
Only silence
Without reclaim

Only echoes’
Soar encore
My knocks upon
The astral door

I sail upon
A sea of grays
Inconsolable
Counting days.
===========================

Oh Stinky this is wrenchingly beautiful
what a heartstring strummer...
and oh how well I know those echoes
(ohhowilovewhenyouwritelikethis)

me

I know no one is to blame
In time youll feel strength when you call my name
I know Ill never hold you again
And I know Ill never be the same
VH

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2001-08-10 08:26 AM

I must have missed the first one
This is beautiful and very touching
Liz

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2001-08-10 08:51 AM

Loss.

Hurts.

And my ears bleed from the pounding on the doors.

Well done, Sy!

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

4 posted 2001-08-10 08:55 AM

Poised and poignant pours of pathos. Perfect and sad.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2001-08-10 01:03 PM

JM,
Love you too, winkiewinkie Stinky

Elizabeth,
Thank you Sy

Sunshine,
Thank you for the well done.

RSWells,
Powerful comment. Thank you.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

6 posted 2001-08-14 05:57 PM

wonderul write of Pathos... nicely done Seymour

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2001-08-14 06:46 PM

Cpat Hair,
Thank you.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

8 posted 2001-08-14 09:48 PM

enjoy

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2001-08-14 09:53 PM

Vandana,
Thank you.

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