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Open Poetry #15
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A Round Trip in a Square Maze.
| Open Poetry #15 |
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A Round Trip in a Square Maze. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533
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A mauve sun dollop paused a posed farewell before drawing it's lavender shawl, retiring west and seesawing east an alabaster moon. A moon so large its luminescent reflection lit the Gulf of Mexico's surface allowing one to forget both the tepid vulgarity of the Corpus Christi shore and this days sun's garish exit. The dunes thus bleached appeared as snow and the feeling of distress must have panicked the nocturnal creatures for on this night there would be nowhere to hide. Naked in its glow were my reasons for traveling here. Exposed in its ethereal brilliance like an embarrasing x-ray was a graying man still running from himself and worse, retracing his steps. Like a hare escaping a warren, I took a rare weekend from the stress and fled past. Looking for a familiar rabbit hole, forgetting the reasons those holes became uninhabitable. It took less than 24 hours to recall why our pieces would never fit this puzzle. Her jagged zigs would never clasp my haggard zags. After some delusory sex which offered both momentary remedy and eternal mendacity we clothed ourselves in the dispassionate patchwork of moral mendicants and picked at pique until I feigned offense, packed and headed north. The flatland ride, its revelry wrecked by a radio whose frequencies, like ours, knew not which groove was its station had its moment; In an otherwise unenlightened sky on a long, straight and boring south Texas highway fell a star. Streaking westward so pronounced in its death knell I could almost hear it. Measured by me in seconds and taking up no more than one foot of sky off my left shoulder, I realized that its celestial existance spanned eons and the length of its funereal procession stretched on beyond the distance the earth probably traverses in my short ride astride it. In an instant both it and its thick and lengthening tail went blank, reverting back the sky to the nothing it was before. The selfish sun had left its ephemeral mark on me and as I left the past where it belonged I too felt nothing. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: ........ great lines! and quote: hehe.... umm.... well.... loved it!!! you've got some great similes and imagery in here, my friend, as well as some really cool verbiage.... a well written piece which held my attention throughout ..... i could envision it!! good job!  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
RSWells~ You opened with the most vivid of imagery~ 'A mauve sun dollop paused a posed farewell before drawing it's lavender shawl, retiring west and seesawing east an alabaster moon.' My goodness ... that's as lovely a portrait of the sunset as I've ever read. The entire piece was well-written. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Wow Richard! The images were absolutely awesome, especially the sunset in the sky, and the shooting star. I actually could see these images, and I had never seen a shooting star until now!Hmmm...well, the other wasn't too badly written either, oh well, glad you enjoyed the scenery, lol! ~To see real beauty you must first look with your heart~ |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Great imagery! Agree with all the above. Well Done! jwesley |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A mauve sun dollop paused a posed farewell before drawing it's lavender shawl, retiring west and seesawing east an alabaster moon. A moon so large its luminescent reflection lit the Gulf of Mexico's surface allowing one to forget both the tepid vulgarity of the Corpus Christi shore and this days sun's garish exit. The dunes thus bleached appeared as snow and the feeling of distress must have panicked the nocturnal creatures for on this night there would be nowhere to hide. Naked in its glow were my reasons for traveling here. Exposed in its ethereal brilliance like an embarrasing x-ray was a graying man still running from himself and worse, retracing his steps. ===================================== In an otherwise unenlightened sky on a long, straight and boring south Texas highway fell a star. Streaking westward so pronounced in its death knell I could almost hear it. Measured by me in seconds and taking up no more than one foot of sky off my left shoulder, I realized that its celestial existance spanned eons and the length of its funereal procession stretched on beyond the distance the earth probably traverses in my short ride astride it. In an instant both it and its thick and lengthening tail went blank, reverting back the sky to the nothing it was before. The selfish sun had left its ephemeral mark on me and as I left the past where it belonged I too felt nothing. ======================================== damn this is awesome... the imagery alone is outstanding and impressive... I dont think Ive ever seen a sunset described the way you did in that second verse. Everything about this write is unique.. besides the imagery...what held me was the way you wrote the emotions with a vivid, intense, brutally honest impact... the reader could feel the naked loneliness and desperation to leave those parts of the past behind. very well done Richard...we often find our release in our writing. jm |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
Your imagery is incredible - I had to read this several times for the sheer enjoyment. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Ahhhhhhh ....... an image packed and powerful read indeed. You have a very unique way of expressing the emotions in this piece and it reads just like a classic. Probably because it will someday become one. Beautifully constructed and the flow was flawless as was the superb imagery. In my library with this one. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'A mauve sun dollop paused a posed farewell before drawing it's lavender shawl, retiring west and seesawing east an alabaster moon.' 'In an otherwise unenlightened sky on a long, straight and boring south Texas highway fell a star. Streaking westward so pronounced in its death knell I could almost hear it. Measured by me in seconds and taking up no more than one foot of sky off my left shoulder, I realized that its celestial existance spanned eons and the length of its funereal procession stretched on beyond the distance the earth probably traverses in my short ride astride it.' May I just say, wow...you have an extraordinary talent for this imagery thing...outstanding doesn't even begin to describe this...remarkable job, Richard...I truly love this one...each one of yours I like more and more... sp  it was love that first drew me, |
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BrightStar Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 219 |
Beautiful. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
very strong and superb reading my friend. . . you have done very well with this one. . . a trip through a mind. . . and a life. . . well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
What a trip RS! I adore the way you described the dunes at night. And the escapade with the one that zigged! I mentioned to someone earlier how the Texas sky appeared so massive. You created a mass of energy flying cross with superb imagery. Enjoyed the entire piece. Sincerely, Regina |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
An honest, graphic amalgamation of reality, surealism, and stoicism through the texture of experience. -MVS "It's all in the details -- the Big Picture always takes care of itself." |
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