If I was in Vegas tonight - pipTalk Forums

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jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

0 posted 2001-08-03 02:30 PM

The traffic was slow as always,
it was the going home commute,
and by the clock, exactly one hour
and twenty two minutes
since I had gotten a few minutes
to sit down and chanced to read your
knock knock, are u there?
from the night before.
And of course I wasn't.
I go home
Monday
thru
Friday
at four
freaking
o'clock
every
single
afternoon
and so
when you looked for me at eight o two pm
just hoping maybe...
well, I wasn't there.
I missed you.
And I hadn't seen you in so long
that just your knock knock
made me smile.
So now, approximately one hour and twenty
three minutes after seeing
your knock knock, are u there?
when my eyes clouded over
until I could barely see,
I could blame it on the drive home let down
after a very long day
and a night with too little sleep,
but if I was in Vegas tonight
I wouldn't give it very good odds.

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

1 posted 2001-08-03 02:36 PM

Good gosh poet....you are on a roll...even with the dice stacked against you....this is strong coffee!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-08-03 02:44 PM

nicely done..another strong and wonderful write... keep em rolling..and hope the snake eyes don't bite you...

I enjoyed

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

3 posted 2001-08-03 02:52 PM

thank you both.....guess its always a gamble huh?....seems I don't have the luck for it though.....rofg

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2001-08-03 04:57 PM

Hey you reminded me of the period of time when I used to drive one and a half to two hours to work and that was one way and I aged four years in two and it wasn't much fun...
As for Vegas I suppose it will always be there as long as people enjoy going there and depositing there money in the bank of Las Vegas...my friend was just telling me yesterday she would like to go to Vegas...it is fun if you enjoy the get away and shows and the romance and you don't lose too much money. James

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

5 posted 2001-08-03 05:45 PM

well...2 things...I don't mind my commute, I have a new FANTASTIC stero, and I enjoy the solitude, and this poem really had nothing to do with vegas...but I do know what you mean about the city and the gambling...thanks for the comments

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2001-08-03 11:48 PM

3 to 1??

great job with this one. . . it's like being there. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

7 posted 2001-08-06 02:12 PM

nah...worse than that....lol...call it a long shot

thanks sven

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