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Open Poetry #15
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My first "senryu"...blushing thanks to Interloper :)
| Open Poetry #15 |
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My first "senryu"...blushing thanks to Interloper :) |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet 
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Shimmering water Mirroring the azure sky Hiding your secrets [This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 08-03-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Krista C. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Cumulous heavens Securely holding secrets Watching from above Nice first haiku, Kitten...  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
SmittenKitten~ Rain pouring on me Twenty-four hours a day Florida is WET *Nice job, gal~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Nan ~ cumulous...what a lovely word  thank you for adding it to my vocabulary! And what a wonderful haiku! That should be a post all on its own! Thank you for the read and beautiful reply Marge ~ hehe...send some my way! It's horribly dry here in Ontario. At the campground I work at, we actually have a fire-ban! Loooots of unhappy campers. Thanks for reading and giving me a laugh  [This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 08-03-2001).] |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
SK ~ Very good first effort ... on your Senryu. First two lines in Haiku form, but last line take from nature and inserts a human. =============== Shimmering water Mirroring the azure sky Hiding your secrets ================ Maybe: shimmering water mirroring the azure sky hidden secrets there might be a Haiku. ~~~~~~~~~ Don't hate me, please. Your piece is VERY lovely and, as you may know, it is my favorite format. Please write another very soon |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Interloper ~ hehehe...I don't hate you I think that's hilarious. Thank you for pointing that out so personification = bad in haiku?  |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
water's winking lights hiding jewels of stars' lights denizens enfold |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Lady ~ wonderful! You have a knack for these I've seen your replies to Interloper and now I'm honoured that you have replied to mine in like form thank you! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Smitten, Nice write enjoyed the read. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nicely done... a pleasure to see new forms tried... good work!! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
those bright reflections stars twinkling on waved surface what secrets below |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
Thunder shouts secrets Forest nods understanding Humans hear just loud. And aren't we glad our secrets aren't comprehended? I enjoyed this very much, SmittenKitten. |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
Seymour ~ thank you kindly it was nice of you to stop by!Cpat ~ it's a pleasure to try something new! as always, thank you for your kind words!Interloper ~ hidden under sparkling waves forever kept there illusion ~ forest shows acquiescence humans don't listen |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
stone thrown on waters rippling waves move aside did secrets surface? enjoyed the read...write on..post more!  |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
faterider ~ water parts and recombines secrets are surfaced thank you for the encouragement! And lovely response |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
I love all forms of minimalist poetry.I offer this one. Candle One candle Oasis of light In the dark paladin |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
Well done, Ilove the form and stile but I haven't written any. Throw your heart out in front of you |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
shimmering surface reflects the azure sky light keep secrets in dark You wrote a beautiful senhaik I really loved it. Keep writing them please.Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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