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Open Poetry #15
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Phoenix Critters...response to Balladeer
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Phoenix Critters...response to Balladeer |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
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~Phoenix Critters~  *Image reflects actual size* so, there are raccoons in your attic and their presence makes you blue? if you'll take some of what I've got I'll gladly take a few these Phoenix pests aren't furry and certainly not cute they're simply here to bug me that you cannot dispute I've got pigeons in the rafters and roaches in the drain between the two of them I think they're driving me insane the pigeons leave me presents on the sidewalk everyday the roaches chase me 'round the house as if they want to play now, don't misunderstand me I'm very fond of birds it's just that I get so darned sick of cleaning up their turds the roaches on the other hand I could live without I'd love to see them gone for good of that there is no doubt so if you get annoyed when critters in your attic dwell I'll gladly make an even trade yep, that would be just swell! ~vlraynes "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 07-30-2001).] [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-27-2003 01:58 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
Racoons and squirrels over roaches and pigeons, hey? Considering your territory, I was expecting much worse... scorpions and the like... enjoyed! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh My Gawd ! I'll be back to see the exterminator in action - er, reaction ! ! Sometimes, poetess ... you crack ME up ! This is definitely one of those times ! Ewwwwwwwwwwww !  *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Hey, but you do get all the cool ones too such as the scorpions, the rattlesnakes, and the JACKALOPES!!!!!! Yeppers, they ARE REAL. Everytime I sit myself down next to a lonely tumbleweed and break open that whiskey, they come around to cheer me up.  Oh yeah..............Nice response to the "deer" man. |
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cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
I am so with you! Had one wake me up in the middle of the night! it was gross!!!!! This was really cute...Im still laughing! Just cause I KNOW exactly what you are talking about! Love ya Cindi God is our inspiration; Words of the heart can be music to our ears |
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Constance Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393Ohio |
As an Arizona girl myself, I can relate. I couldn't have put it as well though. good one! |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
And with the roaches take the scorpions And centipedes and sun spiders and wolf spiders and the rattlesnakes, and even those darn garter snakes, and why in the heck do these darn tarantulas love MY garage so much.....uuugh...TAKE EM ALL!! Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
Oh yeah, and what about those crazy flying bettles that stick in my hair, and I think your picture was too small, that was the baby roach, papa roach lives down here in the southwestern corner, and.......!!! (LOL) |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
OMG - Cocroaches??? Do you have any idea how much I hate bugs? No, well all my windows, doors, heat vents have screen on them. I would die if I saw one of those. OMG, how big are the spiders there? I am going to have nightmares for a trillion years! Move, Vicky, move! LOL  Wait a minute, I've got it! Get Balladeer to bring the racoons to your house and the racoons  can play a tune and drive them out of there like the Pied Piper? Cute poem, but yuckers, I hate bugs!Reel beauty is only fin deep! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Vicky girl, the words you write are music to my ears.. How I love squeamish ladies and their "I-hate-roaches" fears! Hysteria that overtakes the gals when one approaches Fills me with appreciation for my friends - the roaches. Women have come quite a way in history...and yet When it comes to roaches they are still a sufferagette. A T-rex from Jurrasic Park could not provoke the fear A woman goes through when she sees a little roach appear. They're the gift that keeps on giving 'cause they multiply like mad. They help me earn a living and make me Sir Galahad. There's only one thing that would ever make me destitute... That one day women would awake and find those buggers cute! You say you have a problem there? Well, put away that Kleenix... Your balladeer, with can in hand, is on his way to Phoenix!!! No critters can treat YOU like that! I'm coming there to fight And I will solve your problem if I have to work all night!!!  |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Lady In White- Yep...we have those too...just not in my house..LOL Thanks for reading. Marge- Ewwwwwwwwwwww is absolutely right!! These things are huge and disgusting! Much prefer furry critters! Glad this one cracked you up!  Mark- Hmmmmmmm...jackalopes, huh? They never seem to come see me when I'm drinkin' my raspberry hot chocolate. Why do you think that is?? You're too much, my cowboy friend! LOL Glad you enjoyed this little ditty. Cindi- LOL...I KNOW you can relate to this all too well! You can't truly appreciate just how disgusting these things are until you've had one crawl across your bare foot in the middle of the night..YUCK!! Gives me shivers!!! Glad this one gave you a laugh. Constance- It's nice to know someone can truly relate to this. Glad you enjoyed it. azblond- ROFL!!! Fortunately for me, I don't have to deal with quite as many critters here in the big city as you do where you live. You're right though...the size of the graphic is on the conservative side..they get MUCH bigger than that! Scary ain't it?! Thanks for reading. Sharon- LOL!!!!! You're too funny!! ROFL @ 'Move, Vicky, move!'..LOL Yep...I definitely need that balladeer to ride in and save the day! Sleep well, my friend..LOL hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
well, balladeer, I'm so darned glad that you enjoy these roaches but you can rest assured as soon as one of them approaches I'm gonna turn my tail and run to grab the nearest shoe he'll never know what hit him, nope he wouldn't have a clue now, usually I'm not the type to let an insect bug me but those big suckers fly too fast, and their so stinkin' ugly they hold meetings in the bathroom in the middle of the night and if I happen in on them they're ready for a fight so, come be my Sir Galahad...I'll be your maiden fair rescue me from roaches, sir, and I'll follow you anywhere rest assured your job will always be secure with me if you'll just come to Phoenix, and promptly set me free come on now, I'm waiting and they're rounding up the troops they've gathered in the living room, divided into groups I think they know you're coming and the old ones tell a story of the brave exterminator and his rise to fame and glory tales of mass roach killings are told both far and near causing them to shiver, fills their tiny hearts with fear so hurry, sir I'm getting scared...there's evil in their eyes you wouldn't want to have a great big roach cause my demise Hugs to you, Mr. Exterminator Man. You're my hero  "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
On my way, Vicky!! We will make a good team  |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this is hilarious! " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Poor Vicky has a cockroach Her house pest with reproach If it really does encroach Just call on our deer bigroach...  |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
This is wonderful! I thoroughly enjoyed the poem and the responses. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Balladeer- Anxiously awaiting your arrival, sweet man. Irish Rose- Glad you enjoyed. Nan- He says he's on his way...hope he hurries.LOL Thanks for reading.. illusion- Thanks so much...glad you enjoyed. hugs to all, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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paladin
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930Pensacola,Fl. |
A roach can live in radiation a thousand time more powerfull than what is needed to kill a man.Is'nt it a comforting thought that after humanity is destroyed by nuclear war they will still be around?BTW the roach is the real Florida state bird. paladin |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
paladin- Hmmmmm...don't know that I'd call that 'comforting'...LOL. Thanks for reading. ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Rindercella Member
since 1999-11-12
Posts 64La La Land |
I found this humourous. And just a wee bit icky. Can the exterminator person come to the castle? But only for the roaches as the meeces are my friends. *If the shoe fits ... the castle is yours* |
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ramrog Member
since 2001-08-22
Posts 50 |
used to live in phoenix...them critters are one thing I don't miss!!! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
ROFLMAO... to read the saga of the roaches, the conversation between The Big Roach and The Fair Maiden, is like watching a Benny Hill or SNL episode but in better taste...if you can use the word taste while discussing disgusting roaches. They look like mini versions of Florida Palmetto bugs to me. But I remember those flying bombers in So Cal as a child. They were ugly, scary, and vile. Do chickens eat them? If so, buy a thousand Banties and turn them loose.(of course then you have to clean up a manure mess) |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
You ought to see the roaches in Hawaii...they make your picture small by comparison...and you cant get rid of them so you let the geckos(lizards) live in your house to kill them...and the cats just love to give them as gifts...ewwwwww |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Rindercella- LOL @ you! I'm sure you could talk the exterminator into doing some selective pest control..LOL I like the meeces too! Glad you enjoyed this icky little ditty. ramrog- I don't blame you one bit! Thanks for reading. Midnitesun- Glad you enjoyed our little bit of fun here! LOL @ the chickens!! Hmmmmm...maybe I'll just keep the roaches! ROFL!!! Thanks for reading! Paula- Well, I will say that my graphic could stand to be a bit bigger, but it sounds like the Hawaii roaches may have these Phoenix ones beat! LOL! We have the geckos here too, but most of them are too small to be a threat to the roaches, so they're no help at all! LOL Thanks for sharing your pest story! hugs to all, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
oh my.......what a presentation of these bugs....*lol*.....enjoyed your poem and the replies of Balladeer....yep you two would be a great team...... Charisma |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very good response! |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I have to echo Paladin here. When I lived in Florida, they were big enough to saddle! Oh my gosh, I get the willys when I think of them. Cause they would fly and land on you. This cracked me up! Sincerely Regina |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
hehehe oh Vicky....you have made me giggle this morning! I shouldn't be laughing at your expense but it *is* funny! And the reply posts between you an Balladeer...hehehe...to cute I am so glad I haven't had to deal with those ugly things. I think my cat would be afraid of them!Hugs, ~Krista  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
ICK! you know...me and the roach bug...we just DONT get along...these scars on my leg will testify!! hahahaha!! you know that story......anyway..this is nasty..lol nasty nasty poetry..dirty buggy-like stuff..and as much as i hated it..i loved it! teehee.. all my storage stuff i just moved into my new clean apt, had the darned things in there..just waiting for me!! yeck! i was fleeing from them everywhere for a while...lol so..this is your insanity in phoenix aye..come to florida.. hugs, g ~dgvarner/fallen rain~ |
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