The Admiral ( Inspired by RMW)

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Open Poetry #15

The Admiral ( Inspired by RMW)

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2001-07-12 02:31 PM

Still the clouds
Do ply the blue sea
With sails piled high
On black bellies
Carrying another cargo
To leak from holes
Where flashes have
Torn the surface
And we,
Weak earthbound
Observers
May only watch
And wonder
At the Admiral
Of such fleets

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (edited 07-12-2001).]

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

1 posted 2001-07-12 02:36 PM

This is superb!  You and Bob do feed off each other so famously, creating masterpieces at nearly every turn.

Really enjoyed the view here and the analogy employed.  Great stuff!

Oh, and I liked it, too.

p.s. I wanna steal those 'black bellies'  that was a fantastic phrase/picture

[This message has been edited by VAS (edited 07-12-2001).]

Waseem Cheema
Member

since 2001-03-16

Posts 369
Pakistan

2 posted 2001-07-12 02:38 PM

Cpat is a good but I am unable to understand the theme...sorry

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

3 posted 2001-07-12 03:08 PM

The strength and magnitude of this is amazing....

but who is RLW?...{~,^}

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-07-12 04:28 PM

Thank You VAS... I tried to write this imitating Bob's style....or at least some part of his style. Feel free to borrow the black bellies.. I have a poem I wrote about black bellied clouds I borrowed this phrase from for this one.

Waseem.. How to explain? The idea..or general idea was to use the clouds ( nature) and its beauty and power to put into perspective man's place in relationship to God. I am not a religious person... and was following the style I had seen RMW use in his poetry to do the same thing. The idea of the clouds as ships...dropping a cargo of rain from "holes" is an effort to create the image of large sailing ships in battle... lightening being the cannon flashes.. the "holes" where the rain fell from... the Admiral.. being God... Hope that helps!!
Thanks very much for the comment!!!

Lady... you always say the kindest things... Thank You!!

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