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Dark Materials #5: All Imperfect Things
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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Dark Materials #5: All Imperfect Things |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
All Imperfect Things Perfection Of unmarred beauty Upon this world... Beauty born of mummering sound. Utopian skies and Castles whispered in the wind, Carried by feather wings. Resilient light upon crystalled Lettering in caves As rainbows protrude from Cloudless skies. Soft, lush lips Meets the sweetened gaze Of a strawberry field. The scent of newly released clouds Flow with the air In a newborn's lungs. Thus, it all begins... Glass was made to be broken... ===== It never ends...this always happens...>.< Stupid fake-muse! Ah well...I wasn't going to add this to the Dark Materials Series...but you know...I thought about it. Imperfection IS a dark material. Thus endeth the Dark Materials Series... Or not. Enjoy! °L.§.W.° Va pensiero sull' ali dorate... [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-26-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
xShUgArHiGhx 
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Beautifully written  I enjoyed it lots...good job hun |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
i liked it it...the whole imperfection idea had a familiar ring to life...loved the word choice tho...beautiful pictures in my head " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really really loved the ending!!! Oh man it was awesome. I liked this one a lot leah.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is totally beautiful You are such an amazing writer Leah You should keep writing and so perfect it *standing ovation* hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Allysa, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Ma |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
GAH! Thus, it all begins... Glass was made to be broken... this is soooooooooooooo AWESOME!  ...it blew me away...woah..you are one amzing talent!....very very good write leah!Piece you life together and you WILL find holes. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Hmmm, I haven't been reading much of your work *scolds thyself* sorry about that, I shall improve on it!! This was really well done. I loved the way you've written it. Jenn "Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
HI LEAH!!!  HI!! Now in order not to make you feel empty, I shall reply telling you this was utter crap.  jk...BIG jkImperfection is a dark material, you're right and you really did do a good job with this piece. How you ask? HOW?? Well, sit back and I shall reveal all. The different examples of imperfection were really brilliant in their own right. You took simple elements of everyday living, threw them into a poem of imperfection and in the end exposed exactly what was imperfect about them to such a degree I shall never look at rainbows the same way again. Your imagery was very well done too. "Utopian skies and Castles whispered in the wind, Carried by feather wings." That just sends magical images in my head because castles in the wind...just WOW. I'm getting a picture of rural Ireland in the 6th century. That's all good considering some of my dreams.  My favourite line in this entire piece was the very last one in italics. 'Glass was meant to be broken...' How very true. This I found to be appealing because of the simple fact that people see glass breaking as seven years bad luck. The reality of it is that it will break eventually but what will be the straw that breaks the camels back? It is a fitting ending to a piece that highlights the different aspects of life that and will always be imperfect. Alright, that'll do from me. Thanks for sharing another fab piece. Keep 'em coming and if you ever stop, I'll hunt you down and make you write. ~AF~ I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. *toot toot* |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Yet AGAIN...phenominal work! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
You have written VERY well on "imperfect"...here are a few..."Cloudless skies" no better wya to discribe the skies then w/out the clouds-its imperfection..."Glass was made to be broken..." need i say more about taht one?...loved the read...buh bye if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry- |
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