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SunShine913

Member

since 2001-08-19

Posts 211
Italy but from NC

0 posted 2001-08-26 10:14 PM

A Ghost

Walking
quiet tree-lined trails
shadowed in your memory,
I feel you here
reaching for me
just beyond the trees-
wanting.

My name
whispers from your lips
as the wind
moves in the trees.
I turn,
shadows move,
your ghost
follows me.

My favorite place
now feels cold,
empty of the warmth
once held.
Vacant...
cold.

Come to me...
walk again in the sun
with me at your side,
share the shadows,
bring me peace,
bring me... you.

I miss you.

_____________________________

HEY YOU GUYS LOOK UNDER TEEN CHAT PLEASE AND READ WHAT I PUT DOWN THIER THANKYOU

*You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun!

*gurls are sweet, Gurls are nice, but im the gurl with whip cream and ice

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-08-26 10:52 PM

wow, this is great!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2001-08-27 12:13 PM

This was was definately eerie but very well written...i enjoyed the read...excellent job!

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

3 posted 2001-08-27 09:35 AM

This was very eerie as someone else had said. Definitly intersting tho, great job on it!!

Jenn

"Baby I've been drifting away, dreaming all day, of holding you, touching you, the only thing that I wanna do is be with you..."Faith Hill

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-08-31 01:41 PM

I felt the poem had a serene feel to it, but at the end it was pretty sad. I did like the poem, but the ending was kind of weak. The line "I miss you" does need to be put there because it's the general concept of the whole thing, I presume, but I think a bit more should be added to give the ended as much sadness, and power as the whole poem has. Well done here though.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

Somewhere out there a cow is laughing at you

Delirious_Smurf
Member

since 2001-08-08

Posts 90
Nothingness,P.R.

5 posted 2001-08-31 10:21 PM

So very nice

I on the other hand really liked the "I miss you" it gave it that last touch of sadness.
I thought that was cool.

Who you are and who you will be is right in the palm of your hand.

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