Teen Poetry #5 |
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I HATE YOU ... (long) please take the time to read this and tell me what you think!! |
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SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC ![]() |
I HATE YOU!!! I hate the way you smile at me,As we are looked upon by stars,I hate the way you laugh with me,When you feel so damn afar, I hate the way you roll your eyes,When you hear something so wrong,I hate the way you touch me softly,When everything i loved, was gone, I hate the way you kiss me,So gently on my lips,I hate the way you always thought,And what you would reminisce, I hate the way your eyes would shine,Watching me as i sleep,I hate the way you wipe the tears, Descending from my cheeks, I hate the way you're always right,In everything you do,I hate the way you get me hooked,With the three words, "I love you" I hate the way you whisper softly,Words i can't convey,I hate the way you read my thoughts,When i never even say, I hate the way you're always there,By day and by night, I hate the way you always apologize,When we have a fight, I hate the way you always smile,And think everything will be all right,I hate the way you guide me through,And turn dark into bright light, I hate the way you always stand,So proud to have me there,I hate the way you always say,That you will always care, I hate the way you love me so much,And say, "things aren't as they seem,"But most of why i hate all this,Is because it's just a dream! _________________________________ please comment on this on it took alot of time!! ![]() *You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun! |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrea L. Figueroa - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
first off, you don't have to beg for people to read your poetry, it is amazing. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
this isn't plagerized by any means but it sounds so familiar. did you base it on the movie "10 things i hate about you" when julia stiles read her poem towards the end.... and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't beg us to read your stuff. you do write good... let people come to read it, don't force it upon people. stuff that says "READ MY STUFF" i usually stay away from. Valerie "i'm supergirl, and i'm here to save the world, but i wanna know, who's gonna save me" - WNBA Commercial |
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SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
sorry if you think that is the case i wasnt meaning to force any thing . i just ment that it was long and i didnt think you guys would read it! *You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun! |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Know what Andrea? One of my policies in replying used to be never reply to someone if they beg you to, and the first time I saw your name, I thought that. ![]() Looking at this poem I'd have to say it could have been better... the repeated line was used a bit too much in this poem. maybe you should cut down on it a bit, repeat that line a little less? Looking at it without the repitition, this is a pretty basic ranting teenager poem. I like your other one better, but maybe it's because I don't like this kind of poetry very much. I see your little touches, but it's the subject matter that does it for this poem, as far as I'm concerned... and not your own writing flaws. Rather good but not of my taste. Consider it the best Martini in the world, served to the designated driver. ~Allan You eat the brains of an old, wise man. |
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xShUgArHiGhx![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Wow this poem took a sudden twist which i just loved. I thought this poem was great but unfortunately dreams can be very deceiving...I wrote a poem a little while ago about a dream that i thought was real...Its an interesting thing to write about i think...N e wayz im babbling lol sorry! Nice job and i really liked it ![]() |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Quite an emotion charged piece here, Andrea. There is one person I could say this to at the moment. Too bad he lives on the other side of Australia now! ![]() Now currently I've been slack and haven't read a scrap of your work. This piece shows how much emotion you have stored in you. Just to echo, don't beg for people to read your work. You'll find your replies way down. Thanks for sharing this with us all and I look forward to more. ![]() ~AF~ I'm a little teapot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. *toot toot* |
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samt Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 52Brisbane |
From the heart, this poem is good. I feel so bad, I feel so guilty. I Love this poem. Sam |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Nice write, deary. While readint his I thought i was gonna have to smakc you for hating something that seemed so perfect. HaHa, Here I was jealous as hell of this greta thing you were taking for granted. HeHe- But ya, you saved yourself at the end. LOL. Nice write- I really really enjoyed it. ![]() You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
awwwwwwwwwwwwww..........i hate waking up after a good dream.. ![]() ![]() Piece you life together and you WILL find holes. |
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allie Member
since 2001-07-09
Posts 218Australia |
Well im very glad you took the time to write this... because i really enjoyed reading it, It's so perfect right up until the end. I was actually comparing it to a perfect relationship (which of course at the time we all judge) And it made me really happy that someone out there had found PERFECTION and almost mad that you hated it... but the end crushed me, i was almost going to reply and make you change it to something like "together forever" blah blah blah... but I've decided i like it... its different and its eye catching Very nice write, sorry i babbled ALLIE |
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SunShine913![]()
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
Thank you guys! everything you have said about this poem sorry about me Telling you to take the time to read it. but it is long and i didnt think you would so once again thank you! *You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun! |
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Alyssa![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-30
Posts 385IM ENGAGED!!!!! |
yay! i use to have a poem up called i hate u... yep...it wasnt really a poem...just me goin off yours is very good i might steal it... ![]() "I have no never-again, I have no always" |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow i really liked this one! I mean, thank God it's just a dream. It'd suck if you disliked something so right. Well done on this poem! ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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