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Teen Poetry #5
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First Post
| Teen Poetry #5 |
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First Post |
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Maynard Junior Member
since 2001-06-29
Posts 12IL |
What's up, I have never written anything before, but I was listening to one of my acoustic jams that I wrote, and this is a response to the music. One Minute from Heaven My other half and I, connected between. Leather on Earth, watching the blue meet the green. In the white, it's perfect - everything is fine. White triangles floating on the line. Watch the ripples--here they come Gotta deal, don't wanna run. I feel something, something is wrong. Look away and everything returns to how it belongs. Everything was once okay But suddenly you've gone away. Promise me that with this thing I can't deal If I hide away that on its own it will heal. Watch the waves--here they are Don't wanna fold, gotta take charge. Without this I can't imagine being. Crawl away and I'll lose these bad feelings. The white once occupied has now turned black And the triangles are falling through the cracks. Nowadays this life of mine Is feeling absent all the time. Watch the flood--water everywhere Sinking deep and drowning and I don't even care. With only one half, I am no longer a symmetry. Run away, and life changes back the way it used to be. Who is this but a friend? To help me escape me, and find pain's end. I only need one, just one more, just my friend. Just one instant, and we are together again. "I have nothing to tell you or sell you for the moment... but thank you for asking." --Maynard James Keenan of Tool [This message has been edited by Maynard (edited 06-29-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
You know, for a first timer, all I can say is WOW. This was really great. I hope to read more by you. Welcome to passions!!! Jenn "Woah my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time"- Unchained Melody |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions Maynard! I loved the poem and thought you did exceptionally well on it. I hope to see more of you around. Oh and I LOVE Tool, they rock. Check your e-mail for a special message! Dopey_Dope/Moderator  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
First time ever? Well- You blew me away. This is an absolute great first post! Keep 'em coming! ~Jessica |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very, very good poem, Mike. I really connected with this. I understand those feelings all too well, unfortunately. You did a very nice job on this well written poem. The rhyme scheme was nicely done as well. Good job, here. I enjoyed this bunches, and I can't wait to read more posts and replies from you! Welcome to Passions! Keep posting all your work. --Marie You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
 Welcome to Passions! In the all first posts I have read, yours simply is the best so far. I was listening to some music at the same time and the way that this came across was just fantastic. Well done and I will be looking around for many more of your posts AND replies. Hopefully you will become an active member in our community.  ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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Maynard Junior Member
since 2001-06-29
Posts 12IL |
thanks y'all for the comments and feedback.. looks like i will have to record more guitar tracks, since that is the only thing to ever spur poetic inspiration in me.. |
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scout Member
since 2001-06-16
Posts 175no place owns me |
nice poem... sometmes just jamming is the easiest way to come up with lyrics, i miss my band, we made an entire recording session with just impromptu songs, i think it was our best session ever. but that was so long ago. Anyways thanks for sharing this poem, i really liked it xscoutx |
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Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Welcome to Passions, this was great I really enjoyed the read and it was an excellent first post. Hope to see more of you in passions and check out Teen chat. Andrew "Here we are again finding ourselves at the end Of the wrong stick I guess it's far too late I'm building up the barricades In my head" -My Vitriol |
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Heavens Tears
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677 |
This was a great first post! I am sure you'll like it here at Passions. And if you want to get to know some of the people here, you can go to the discussion forums. A lot of people here also go to the Teen Chat forums. Just some tips to get ya started here! Thanks for the great read! *Amanda* |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
Great first post, And it better not be the last! Not to sound threatening or anything.... ~peachy be~ See ya around! ~*Freedom Is Not Free*~ (Korean War Memorial) |
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TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Great first poem and I hope to read many more of your poems.Keep up the awsome work! Lauren |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
 WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! WOW! This was an AWESOME first post! I really really REALLY enjoyed it! Keep on posting!  ,Suga "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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Angel Bee Member
since 2001-01-30
Posts 176Virginia |
i liked this poem, welcome to passions, keep writing. ab *~"Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again--because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts."~* |
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FoxXena Member
since 2001-06-13
Posts 141where dragons play, children run free and foxes are never hunted |
Welcome to Passions!  This is a GREAT start! |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow!...this was a great first post...im sorry i came late...but WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!...nice rym and everything worked out quite well for the first time..lol ...hope to see you read share and reply more...bye  im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! Good to see you've decided to join us here in Passions for Poetry. I hope you do enjoy thi splace as much as we all do. SO, to that note, happy reading and sharing as well. Your first post is very impressive I'd like to see more of your work hope to get to read you again thanks for sharing hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Mike~ Wow, when you told me that you had written something I never imagined this. All this time you've been reading my poems and telling me you liked them and you had this talent hidden inside. You totally blew me away. I agree that you should keep writing and I'm so glad you joined me here in Passions. It's an honor to have you here! Good Luck in your next writing Mike from Betha...who...my..LOL just joking love you dude. You're as you say there a real "Cat" keep 'em coming. Chelsea *that what does not kill us makes us stronger!* |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Almost missed this one. I saw your screen name and figured it must be something unusual, and I was right. This is an awesome first post. You definately need to write more, you might be missing out on a great talent. Hope to see more soon. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Maynard Junior Member
since 2001-06-29
Posts 12IL |
damn, thanks everyone for the comments! and keoni thanks for the "unusual" comment, i will try to write more "I have nothing to tell you or sell you for the moment... but thank you for asking." |
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