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fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

0 posted 2001-06-28 04:19 AM

I, a soul brushed about in winds of doubt,
A ship smashed up on rocks of sorrows sharp
Could stand a world of pain made up without
The truths of harsh reality so warp'd.

At times my home's a church..  In places dark
And dim it's self and mind where I reside
To follow paths where soul and mind don't spark
Or live, but fall and starve.. All dead inside.

At times I live as death..  In worlds of light
And life it's God and spirit where I confide
To follow paths where soul meets God to fight
Away the sorrows deep..  All lives inside.

But when I leave those places words escape
My mind but live inside my heart as red
And feeling, truth and light, ripped agape
For all to see but never to be read.

And so's the paradox:
To live gives pain
Not to live gives still more.

My God lives, forgives, loves and gives...
But I am lost and grope, a city without light,
A thing without name
A feeling without words.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

1 posted 2001-06-28 11:33 PM

Jeez Frac, how do you do it? I honestly have to read this again to fully grasp everything that you are saying.

It looks good though. My mum liked it.

~AF~

Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!!

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-06-29 01:08 AM

deep...*thinking*...i like how you express such thoughts

...enjoyed greatly...bye..

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

TopGunLauren
Senior Member

since 2000-08-02

Posts 718
California

3 posted 2001-06-29 01:53 AM

Your poem is really deep O loke it keep up the awsome work.
Lauren

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-06-29 09:33 AM

wow this is a powerful write, I liked it

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

5 posted 2001-06-29 12:43 PM

Wow...impressive

Really dark, and powerful. Strong poem. You imagery is great here! I really enjoyed this.

TLMF,
Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

scout
Member

since 2001-06-16

Posts 175
no place owns me

6 posted 2001-06-29 01:00 PM

I really enjoyed this one, thanks for sharing,

xscoutx
"Son of man with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes. Yet do not lament or weep or shed any tears."-Eze.24:16

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

7 posted 2001-06-29 03:07 PM

I enjoyed this. Great job, and thanks for the read!

*Amanda*
I need more time to find the real me...
to fly like the birds... to be set free.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-06-29 03:46 PM

I found the beginning of the poem to be somewhat boring. Too much like your others, but the words approaching the ending...in fact it was your last 2 stanzas that really caught my eye. Shear brilliance in those 2 last stanzas. I liked them and that made the poem stand out from the rest. So I liked this poem. Hope to see more.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

9 posted 2001-06-29 06:51 PM

i can honestly say that i enjoy most of your poems because they really make me think. this one was no exception. thanks for the read, great job.
-fear-

emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

10 posted 2001-07-01 12:55 PM

wow Frac...such deep thoughts...way beyond talking about the knights who say "nee" lol. but, I don't agree with dopes, no part of this poem was in any way boring. thanks for sharing...oh, and good luck where you are goin hun...keep in touch..k?

-->Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
-->Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

11 posted 2001-07-02 09:48 AM

You have a very deep way of thinking Frac.
Very thought provoking piece
thanks for sharing
keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Kris, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

12 posted 2001-07-03 08:44 PM

Just like everyone said, this is a very deep piece. It really made me sit back and think, and have to read it multiple times. I thought the piece as a whole was very good. Genius, I would say. I enjoyed this, just like I enjoy all of your work. Thanks for sharing this.

--Marie

You can’t expect the roses to grow without the weeds.

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

13 posted 2001-07-03 09:40 PM

I hate to repeat everyone, but it does make ya think. And it is good.

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

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