Caffinated Memories in an Operatic World of Moths

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chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

0 posted 2001-08-20 10:20 PM

And suddenly, I awoke.
The sun, barely a vision now
Hinted its bright glow in the west.
The moon met my eye
As the mirage of sun sank low
Into slumber.
Together, they shared a sky
Midnight, and high noon
Light to light...
The last thought of my latte
Spilled into my mind
And reminded my tastebuds
Of this morning
And of the cafe that glowed brightly
From the shadows cutting against the walls.
And soon, the thought faded
Becoming only a memory
Of the past
As I locked it in
My golden box of sunshine.
I rose from the grassy bed
To listen to the humming wind
Against the blades of grass.
To have a voice like the wind
Was like one with an immense tonal range
In the opera of nature.
I trodded down the hill towards home
Under the lamplight of my street
No cars about, only moths
Surrounding the aurora coming from
The lights.
Anywhere.
Frantic.
How I wished I could be a moth...

To find light always.

=====
Long title, I know. I enjoy long titles, lol. Not much to say about this one, except that this is the companion to Autumn Morning.

-Leah

Va pensiero sull' ali dorate...

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 08-20-2001).]

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-08-21 12:52 PM

hey you know one thing?...i LOVE the way you incorporate everyday modern life into your poems!..i think its the best! i loved this poem..as with all of your poes...its a nice sibling of autumn morning too i must say...loved it much!:spergrin:

"Kiss my Starfish!
My chocolate Starfish punk!"
-'Hot dog'
Limp Bizket

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

2 posted 2001-08-21 02:35 AM

go leah go leah it's your birthday go leah! haha yes i am the weird one here! great poem! really any mention of coffee and i'm like STARBUCKS!!!!!!mmmmmmmmm robin loves starbucks coffee! i loved how you descibed the latte reminding you of the moment.and i like how you used lots of big words! ok GREAT POEM!!! i likes!
robin

i don't give up without a fight so boys beware!

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

3 posted 2001-08-21 06:22 PM

"The moon met my eye
As the mirage of sun sank low
Into slumber.
Together, they shared a sky
Midnight, and high noon
Light to light..."
I loved that part... the way you encorporate nature into every one of your pieces is something I always love about them. This one's awesome.. the only critique I would have is to change the beginning a little.. it ended with lots of power, very strong.. but the beginning is weak. Otherwise, this is another VERY well written post. Awesome work! *sigh* You are soo talented!

--Marie

If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car.

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

4 posted 2001-08-22 12:31 PM

I love the use of language so richly here.  Personally, I'm not one for coffee except for the wimpy substitutes like Frappes and Cappucinos(or Frappacinos).  I liked the first part

"And suddenly, I awoke.
The sun, barely a vision now
Hinted its bright glow in the west.
The moon met my eye
As the mirage of sun sank low
Into slumber."

Waking up at night?  Are you a night owl too?
I don't know much, but I'm guessing this poem is about a caffeine buzz.  I better check out the other poem to see if I missed the boat(probably).  Great job here.

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

5 posted 2001-08-22 03:47 PM

I think this one is very good. I loved the ending talking about always wanting to be in the light. This just kinda reminded me of life and not wanting things to be hidden, or kept in the dark. Don't know, I am in a weird mood lately so I might be looking at it a little different.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

6 posted 2001-08-22 07:44 PM

Wow! You're imagery/ description...whatever...It's incredible!
"How I wished I could be a moth...

To find light always."
I loved those lines...
Yet another amazing write from you...Grrr. hehe

You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did.

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-09-06 04:34 PM

i agree with Jesa...the imagery and discription was incredible...LOVED the ending...well done...Leah!...buh bye

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

8 posted 2001-09-07 04:12 AM

Ok I can't quite put my finger on what I like about this piece but it has something to do with the imagery and your wording. It just struck a chord with me. Parts of it made me sigh and others just blew me away. Too many to point out so we'll say you rock and that's all there is to it.

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

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